Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML

#20639297
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50548) - you deserved it (4875)

On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40809) - you deserved it (3882)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42319) - you deserved it (6997)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

#20668366
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41655) - you deserved it (3500)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

#20712866
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48092) - you deserved it (15487)

On 06/08/2013 at 12:42am - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

#20696622
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49325) - you deserved it (3580)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35664) - you deserved it (16161)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42925) - you deserved it (2738)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

#20686826
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (47858)

On 05/26/2013 at 2:46am - work - by ChangoFett - United States (California)

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49936) - you deserved it (4559)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58457) - you deserved it (3168)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

#20726687
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64056) - you deserved it (3923)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: