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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

#20981261
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40840) - you deserved it (2727)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by happy birthday to me (woman) - United States

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

#20989169
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36284) - you deserved it (2840)

On 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

#21002133
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42807) - you deserved it (3199)

On 12/23/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML

#20982712
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43301) - you deserved it (10920)

On 12/06/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30919) - you deserved it (7944)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

#21016150
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44967) - you deserved it (7959)

On 01/04/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ... - United States

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51474) - you deserved it (6862)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37801) - you deserved it (4205)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML

#21024776
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37664) - you deserved it (8273)

On 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by -_-" (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (56043)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

#21037288
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43881) - you deserved it (9916)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by fappy dog - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40900) - you deserved it (10303)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48978) - you deserved it (5600)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

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  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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