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Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

#21446059
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26262) - you deserved it (2697)

On 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Ma_Nikka (woman) - United States (California)

Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML

#1468
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10833) - you deserved it (37740)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:40pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dog ate my little brothers medication. I spent all morning trying to make him throw it up, but it wasn't working so I took him to the animal hospital, which was in a different city. $150 in poison control and vet bills later, I found the pill we thought he ate stuck under his paw. FML

#3356894
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40897) - you deserved it (7885)

On 06/30/2009 at 2:07am - animals - by glowstick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a playing test in orchestra, which I've pracriced over 30 hours for. After I played my part, which I thought I did very well, my teacher asked how much I had practice. Trying to show off, I said "Oh, just 30 minutes." My teacher said "It shows, that was terrible." She was serious. FML

#982369
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19040) - you deserved it (57032)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my fiancé of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML

#2595343
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59491) - you deserved it (3437)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taken a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through that bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML

#2560724
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11760) - you deserved it (57087)

On 06/03/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by Unimpressed (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you assume that the crunchy bits in a bag of crisps are in fact crisps, you will occasionally find that your assumptions are wrong. Beetles just don't have the same appeal. FML

#1749870
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45824) - you deserved it (5684)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I treated myself to a spa day at home. First, I decided to do a hot oil treatment on my hair. I was leaning over the saucepan of oil on the stove when it flared up in my face. On the bright side, I no longer have to worry about plucking my eyebrows. FML

#1800001
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18977) - you deserved it (50924)

On 05/10/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by torchy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML

#3983887
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41915) - you deserved it (8782)

On 07/23/2009 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by Eskyew (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fell off my desk chair. Why? I failed to notice that the screws I'd been finding on the floor around my room for the past few months belonged to said chair. FML

#5455728
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11603) - you deserved it (30623)

On 09/24/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my friend has been texting my long distance boyfriend more than I do. When I confronted her about it, she confessed that it was because they had been planning a surprise appearance for me. I've never been surprised before, and I ruined my own surprise. FML

#4517705
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18115) - you deserved it (45707)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:29am - misc - by neverbeensurprised (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while driving, I realized I had left my phone on top of my car when I was getting in. Panicking, I drove back to look for it. I found it in the middle of the street, still intact. Yay! When I went back to my car, I noticed I had locked my door. And the keys were in the ignition. FML

#4866921
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17158) - you deserved it (37139)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

#6111658
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15703) - you deserved it (27930)

On 11/01/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by CandlesSuck - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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