Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46790) - you deserved it (3028)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38414) - you deserved it (3459)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51546) - you deserved it (4220)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32335) - you deserved it (3041)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37388) - you deserved it (6183)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46612) - you deserved it (5306)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36043) - you deserved it (4113)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50812) - you deserved it (4535)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (5578)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML

#21262936
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37775) - you deserved it (4574)

On 09/22/2014 at 2:45am - health - by thebrokentardis (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML

#21377263
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32684) - you deserved it (11182)

On 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm - animals - by brokeforever (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36486) - you deserved it (5261)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: