Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

#837
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (1730)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:21pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand and gave me his contact card. FML

#5748
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23530) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:54pm - love - by myrie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

#5399983
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7514) - you deserved it (37567)

On 09/21/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by ScorpioQueen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was finally discharged from hospital after being in there for one month, I arrive home to find a letter from a debt collection agency for my unpaid car insurance premium, and another letter from my car insurer to say that they aren't covering my accident due to non payment of premium. FML

#6339053
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (3403)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by Chriso (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my co-worker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML

#6764357
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (3410)

On 12/15/2009 at 1:04pm - work - by psychworker - United States (New Jersey)

Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML

#7007388
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19869) - you deserved it (3839)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:12am - intimacy - by marriagesux - United States

Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML

#8643588
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (3205)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - money - by arirx12 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML

#8062082
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7620) - you deserved it (14168)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

#8540042
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22562) - you deserved it (3290)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:17am - love - by shwasted (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

#8443272
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by sexxibxmami - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

#8169467
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23511) - you deserved it (4279)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:34pm - health - by justmyluck - United States

Today, the roads were OK, so I cleaned the ice and snow off my car so I could go out. I rolled my window down a little bit while I was driving to clear the snow off the base of the window. A chunk of ice flew off my hood, in through the window, and hit my eye. I then hit a snowbank. FML

#8452983
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17205) - you deserved it (4847)

On 02/19/2010 at 7:37pm - misc - by ouch - United States

Today, I'm seven months into a twelve month deployment. I called my fiancée, and she dumped me. The worst part is that two days ago, I re-enlisted to go to a unit an hour away from her house. FML

#8846079
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (2046)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:21pm - misc - by copenhagen20 - United States (Armed Forces Africa)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: