Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48199) - you deserved it (4411)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

#20712866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47829) - you deserved it (15435)

On 06/08/2013 at 12:42am - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML

#20693929
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57235) - you deserved it (2935)

On 05/29/2013 at 8:39pm - love - by anonymoose - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

#20726687
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62029) - you deserved it (3790)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML

#20719679
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42915) - you deserved it (5136)

On 06/11/2013 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53574) - you deserved it (5150)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

#20708781
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47801) - you deserved it (3162)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by butisavedyourkid - United States

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54828) - you deserved it (5345)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

#20730804
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (5024)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

#20735203
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51006) - you deserved it (3285)

On 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by sicksicksick - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40958) - you deserved it (4486)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35321) - you deserved it (3001)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: