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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at my house party, I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. His excuse? He wanted to be better in bed for me. FML

#21402521
109 comments

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32094) - you deserved it (2259)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML

#316
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22554) - you deserved it (10905)

On 11/17/2008 at 12:04am - work - by Tomtom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

#2165
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6858) - you deserved it (35537)

On 01/22/2009 at 9:38am - misc - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

#4487
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (1706)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by leez - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

#5127
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (3362)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Xpresss - United States (California)

Today, I spent $20 on a spray tan, $30 to have my make up done, and $50 on a pretty new dress all for a special date with my boyfriend. It turns out I spent $100 just to get dumped. FML

#60483
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46060) - you deserved it (8149)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by bertthelamb (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was messaged by a great guy I went to college with, and he was telling me how stupid he had been for not asking me out in college and about how much he had liked me. After talking for 30 minutes about trying to get together soon, he told me that he had mistaken me for someone else. FML

#5209609
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44427) - you deserved it (2754)

On 09/12/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Ljsmitty - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was talking to my boss about her children. She told me she didn’t want them to develop any problems by letting them sleep with the light on. I didn’t tell her last night I slept with the light on because I’m scared of ghosts. FML

#1622822
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19328) - you deserved it (43459)

On 05/04/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by pussy (woman) - Italy

Today, I learned that shaving my unibrow while drunk/high was a terrible idea. I also learned that one brow looks better than no brow. FML

#3386965
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8333) - you deserved it (54625)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML

#1708480
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56837) - you deserved it (2877)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:53am - work - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML

#5873
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9707) - you deserved it (23409)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:42am - work - by BillLumberg (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML

#158750
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10868) - you deserved it (56839)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by mylifeisamovie - United States (New York)



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