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Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

#21161981
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37305) - you deserved it (4548)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm - misc - by Aether - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML

#21271187
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37698) - you deserved it (4061)

On 10/05/2014 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39191) - you deserved it (4985)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

#21213656
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51692) - you deserved it (4020)

On 07/19/2014 at 12:43am - love - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35444) - you deserved it (3601)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

#21322620
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36224) - you deserved it (3172)

On 12/23/2014 at 10:24am - love - by got any coupons? - United States

Today, my insane roommate yelled at me for using the word "stupid" because apparently it is a slur against mentally disabled people. Later, she went on and on about this "queer" club she's attending to meet "queer" people to talk about "queer" issues. She's not gay. I am. FML

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32402) - you deserved it (4481)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34652) - you deserved it (2696)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18247) - you deserved it (26574)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, in my online class I accidentally unmuted my mic. Normally that would be fine except today I decided to serenade myself with a silly song. I didn't realize until everyone started clapping at the end of the song. FML

#21373396
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27631) - you deserved it (6310)

On 03/12/2015 at 8:39pm - misc - by acapelladisaster - United States (Indiana)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)



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