Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was excited to see a spider skittering across my bathroom floor, because this one was real and not a hallucination. FML

Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML

#21087493
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59360) - you deserved it (4555)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:48pm - love - by broken vows (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

#21092226
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43988) - you deserved it (3175)

On 03/20/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by nehadrihan - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

#21091901
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53832) - you deserved it (3185)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML

#21098357
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43814) - you deserved it (3082)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:42am - work - by ClaustrophobicNightmares - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46138) - you deserved it (6001)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44164) - you deserved it (6349)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

#21103666
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59653) - you deserved it (4137)

On 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm - love - by wiona (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (45027)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40401) - you deserved it (12129)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42109) - you deserved it (17651)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42305) - you deserved it (6763)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
193 comments


FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: