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Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32727) - you deserved it (5252)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48230) - you deserved it (27413)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36964) - you deserved it (3459)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49771) - you deserved it (6392)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58457) - you deserved it (7245)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38015) - you deserved it (5952)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31854) - you deserved it (4527)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43757) - you deserved it (16633)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37342) - you deserved it (6179)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46195) - you deserved it (5260)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (3746)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada



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