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Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42048) - you deserved it (17633)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42248) - you deserved it (6755)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46197) - you deserved it (4328)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61779) - you deserved it (14201)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42344) - you deserved it (12422)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56335) - you deserved it (5652)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49517) - you deserved it (8240)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

#21166318
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50313) - you deserved it (5257)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by yepintheladiesroom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40268) - you deserved it (4284)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

#21175491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47581) - you deserved it (4353)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (5251)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)



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