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Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

#20883919
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37380) - you deserved it (40344)

On 09/16/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45120) - you deserved it (5432)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38371) - you deserved it (3710)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38121) - you deserved it (3043)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44026) - you deserved it (3107)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50351) - you deserved it (4694)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

#20921378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37616) - you deserved it (2915)

On 10/15/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Eggs6131 (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

#20915004
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32938) - you deserved it (14251)

On 10/10/2013 at 10:11am - animals - by failure (man) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45847) - you deserved it (6302)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50718) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, a radio show asked the question, "Where does the dentist live in Finding Nemo?" I called in and got through. When he asked me the question, instead of the actual answer I quickly gave out my own address over live radio. FML

#20939023
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36597) - you deserved it (17410)

On 10/30/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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