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Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

#20624422
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49797) - you deserved it (3572)

On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolled her eyes, called me clueless, and said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. FML

#20610275
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41470) - you deserved it (5838)

On 04/21/2013 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML

#20608013
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41530) - you deserved it (9392)

On 04/20/2013 at 4:22pm - money - by citylife - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

#20630741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17214) - you deserved it (58153)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40116) - you deserved it (4760)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50196) - you deserved it (3864)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

#20643431
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51284) - you deserved it (3842)

On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

#20636739
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40641) - you deserved it (3864)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

#20696622
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49128) - you deserved it (3575)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34952) - you deserved it (15963)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48240) - you deserved it (4411)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58211) - you deserved it (3151)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

#20686053
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50094) - you deserved it (4426)

On 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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