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Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML

#21153463
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48220) - you deserved it (6366)

On 05/27/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by N O - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my nineteen year old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

#21169808
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46020) - you deserved it (14765)

On 06/10/2014 at 4:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40056) - you deserved it (4267)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51713) - you deserved it (16767)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54421) - you deserved it (5143) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39414) - you deserved it (6356)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I organized a romantic evening with one of my old squeezes in the hopes I may re-ignite something special. She showed up at 8 and told me she had to leave by 9. She was gone by 8:30. FML

#2715
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17579) - you deserved it (4484)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:56pm - love - by LDL - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

#837
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19013) - you deserved it (1679)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:21pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand and gave me his contact card. FML

#5748
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (3118)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:54pm - love - by myrie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37376) - you deserved it (11988)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

#5399983
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7425) - you deserved it (37318)

On 09/21/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by ScorpioQueen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was finally discharged from hospital after being in there for one month, I arrive home to find a letter from a debt collection agency for my unpaid car insurance premium, and another letter from my car insurer to say that they aren't covering my accident due to non payment of premium. FML

#6339053
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (3397)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by Chriso (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my co-worker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML

#6764357
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22361) - you deserved it (3396)

On 12/15/2009 at 1:04pm - work - by psychworker - United States (New Jersey)



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