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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while parallel parked, a car stopped next to me, backed up, and hit the woman behind him. When she pulled off to the side to check for damage, she slammed into me. FML

#14543441
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19179) - you deserved it (1516)

On 01/11/2011 at 8:34am - misc - by raiyne -

Today, my husband has been painting our house all weekend and plans to finish the job after work today. I decided to surprise him by completing the job myself. Painting the last window frame, I dropped the open tin of white paint, right onto our car roof. FML

#14696653
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18105) - you deserved it (8837)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by Llaurin (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML

#18755712
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17292) - you deserved it (3958)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:56am - health - by naagodinho (man) - Portugal

Today, I signed in my msn messenger. Everyone in my friends list apparently changed their status to 'busy' or 'away' when they saw me online, including my crush. FML

#10289820
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (8492)

On 05/02/2010 at 4:37am - misc - by everyonehatesme (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I woke up to find that not only did the toothpaste I put on my pimple make it more noticable, but it made it worse. FML

#16922820
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10417) - you deserved it (29736)

On 06/30/2011 at 1:30pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I contacted my biological father, after not speaking to him for some years, as we had a very strained relationship. I received an automated response. It's probably the best conversation we have ever had. FML

#16328382
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (2830)

On 05/24/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

#6753336
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (9108)

On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML

#15898424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (2448)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:33pm - misc - by wet (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML

#19504402
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6188) - you deserved it (17901)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

#18869221
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21675) - you deserved it (3257)

On 01/21/2012 at 9:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I paid top dollar for an Italian soda that ended up consisting almost entirely of ice. When I complained, the girl insisted that the soda water stopped the ice from melting. She said she didn't see what the problem was, and threatened to have me thrown out if I didn't "simmer down." FML

#19352792
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16120) - you deserved it (4347)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:33pm - money - by Sharkie49 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML

#18650592
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (5718)

On 12/30/2011 at 2:10am - money - by WTF - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sent to a customer's house to switch out a washing machine. My boss had assured me that everything I'd need was already in the truck. Halfway there, I ran out of gas and I realized I didn't have the gas card. My boss says it's my fault. FML

#19543388
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13302) - you deserved it (4932)

On 04/28/2012 at 5:21pm - work - by wowzers0889 - United States (New York)



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