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Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML

#21077693
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39915) - you deserved it (4548)

On 03/04/2014 at 8:37am - kids - by :/ -

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

#21110397
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (3691)

On 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML

#21112140
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43511) - you deserved it (5011)

On 04/13/2014 at 6:16pm - misc - by -.- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

#21124429
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38841) - you deserved it (5919)

On 04/27/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by failureatlife - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39695) - you deserved it (3501)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore

Today, I saw my boyfriend wiping his nose with his hand and then using the snot to gel back his hair. FML

#21263839
107 comments

Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML

#21266558
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33261) - you deserved it (6303)

On 09/27/2014 at 7:55pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (16443)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

#21360309
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32281) - you deserved it (8213)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

#737
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27210) - you deserved it (5772)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML

#3824312
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44432) - you deserved it (2700)

On 07/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by msj137 - United States

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

#3898
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30004) - you deserved it (1763)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by crakbbyaparently - United States (California)

Today, in biology class, I kept seeing a fly mosquito buzzing past my face and I kept trying to swat at it... only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away. I have no depth perception. FML

#7338
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15987) - you deserved it (16954)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:56am - animals - by Mith (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)



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