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Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

#20750267
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43987) - you deserved it (3137)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (3511)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48465) - you deserved it (7967)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

#20786008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35612) - you deserved it (6825)

On 07/16/2013 at 8:01am - misc - by muffin (woman) - Austria

Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML

#20812711
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46187) - you deserved it (4905)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Bnewlove - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

#20880509
117 comments

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

#20847705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39810) - you deserved it (24146)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Loser (man) - United States

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40602) - you deserved it (2534)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

#20871412
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52522) - you deserved it (3510)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by /(•'_'•)\ (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

#20826525
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45757) - you deserved it (5070)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:09am - kids - by NextAmericanIdol? - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

#20837323
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45607) - you deserved it (5691)

On 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm - animals - by Nanana32 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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