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Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He asked me what had brought me there, so I said I needed to get over some issues. He told me to close my eyes and visualize myself constructing a bridge. I paid to get told to build a bridge in my mind's eye. FML

#19664202
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (4073)

On 05/22/2012 at 7:54pm - health - by fml - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML

#18638561
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19962) - you deserved it (3828)

On 12/28/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was out selling Christmas-themed calendars for charity door-to-door. I rang a doorbell and a wild-eyed man appeared at the door, shouted about being "on nights" and that I'd woken him up, called me a "bell end", threw a newspaper at me and slammed the door in my face. FML

#18492727
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13365) - you deserved it (24851)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by firemansam - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I finally bought a car, after saving up for a year. My dealer had told me it was a good buy, so I snapped it up then and there. On the way home, the rear axle practically fell out of the car due to frame rot. My dealer wants to buy the car back at half the price. FML

#19587863
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10237) - you deserved it (25497)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:40pm - money - by exalia (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML

#19691716
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20147) - you deserved it (2004)

On 05/28/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML

#19405276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (1897)

On 04/04/2012 at 3:51am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I've been diagnosed with a severe lung infection. This causes me to viciously hack up a lung every two minutes or so. Not only can I barely breathe as it is, my job requires lots of running around, cleaning and interacting with customers. I have a five-hour shift tonight. FML

#19529513
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (2028)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:27pm - health - by MissMae93 (woman) - United States

Today, there is an annular solar eclipse. As I was buying the last pair of solar glasses to watch the eclipse with, some jerk snatched them out of my hands and bolted off with them. I now have to make the decision between watching the eclipse and not going blind. FML

#19653342
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17790) - you deserved it (2773)

On 05/20/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by VocalizedBoar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (3037)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, I was finally able to drive my brother's nice car instead of my clunker, because he left for college. First thing I do? Back into the neighbors' mailbox while exiting the driveway. FML

#19853674
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5182) - you deserved it (27902)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by GirlOnTheFly (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

#20041168
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17173) - you deserved it (2927)

On 08/25/2012 at 3:11pm - animals - by missTyfied (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML

#19867617
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11760) - you deserved it (15021)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML

#20134119
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14645) - you deserved it (3658)

On 10/26/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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