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Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (2690)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

#21432863
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (2036)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (3933)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (4293)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found my daughter sobbing and trying to stick a wad of gauze to her vagina. She was having her first period. FML

#21453304
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23590) - you deserved it (9986)

On 08/07/2015 at 10:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

#998
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17280) - you deserved it (6106)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by ana9 - Sent from mobile version

Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security guard's gate to show my ID badge. Except that my brother had stuck a huge "FBI" sticker on it. My co-workers now all call me Mulder. FML

#1020
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17680) - you deserved it (2830)

On 01/13/2009 at 4:47am - work - by MAC - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML

#2526710
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44078) - you deserved it (5076)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML

#6221127
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (2691)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at my graduation for my high school GED, my parents said they were getting all my family and my girlfriend together. So we all went out to a steakhouse down the road, everyone ordered steaks. Turns out the 'surprise' was me paying. I only got 50$ grad money, and the bill was 159.98. FML

#2557245
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57694) - you deserved it (4738)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:40am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I left something in my boss' office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breast feeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

#3537464
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34946) - you deserved it (19719)

On 07/06/2009 at 10:09pm - work - by superclutz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to finally use the gym membership I got a few weeks ago. After I returned to the locker room, the locker I used was opened with all my stuff, including my iTouch, cell phone, and my wallet with cash stolen. It turns out I left the sticker that tells you your combo on my new lock. FML

#2112400
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16622) - you deserved it (73060)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:54pm - misc - by Sweeney (man) - United States (Illinois)



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