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Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31998) - you deserved it (5769)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

#20551759
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36922) - you deserved it (4035)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16897) - you deserved it (54658)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML

#20534623
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31956) - you deserved it (2250)

On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

#20536683
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40241) - you deserved it (5355)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

#20568813
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36995) - you deserved it (2441)

On 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by jll14 (woman) - Malaysia (Sabah)

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35872) - you deserved it (5167)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

#20540616
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53111) - you deserved it (6897)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML

#20565229
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36267) - you deserved it (8396)

On 03/29/2013 at 10:19am - intimacy - by notagyno - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

#20561087
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47765) - you deserved it (3901)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have. It's a small teddy bear on my leg with my parents' names on it. My workplace has no problems with tattoos, but my boss said it was "unoriginal and lame." It's a memorial tattoo; my parents died last year. FML

#20560852
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48799) - you deserved it (3038)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46965) - you deserved it (3286)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)



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