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Today, my brother finally informed me that our shower head has an option to make the water only come out of the detachable part. My left leg's been in a cast for 4 months, and the whole time I've had to shower sitting backwards with my leg sticking out the door. He knew. FML

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17705) - you deserved it (45755)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, playing soccer, I jumped up to make a header and clear the ball away from our goal. I got the ball but some guy kicked me in the face. I was taken off. All the parents were horrified, saying how badly my nose must have broken. Turns out my nose was fine. That's just how my nose looks. FML

#20979759
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39373) - you deserved it (2951)

On 12/03/2013 at 9:03pm - health - by supras (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, my husband called me from the store, trying to decide whether or not to buy the new games console he's been wanting. I'd already purchased one and hid it, ready for Christmas Day. I couldn't talk him into not buying himself one. There goes a $500 surprise. FML

#20995972
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44788) - you deserved it (6479)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:17pm - money - by pissed (woman) - United States

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

#20993552
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39396) - you deserved it (6832)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, once again I was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

#21093234
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38942) - you deserved it (4261)

On 03/22/2014 at 3:18am - misc - by Jen__ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

#21185584
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (8386)

On 06/23/2014 at 5:26pm - money - by amused (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML

#21212865
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44906) - you deserved it (3677)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:45pm - money - by what people do for money - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

#21270463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36835) - you deserved it (11018)

On 10/04/2014 at 1:43am - intimacy - by manymisfortunes - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML

#21320382
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29034) - you deserved it (5120)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

#21354562
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35312) - you deserved it (3448)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Mkimmi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (2690)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)



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