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Today, at my graduation for my high school GED, my parents said they were getting all my family and my girlfriend together. So we all went out to a steakhouse down the road, everyone ordered steaks. Turns out the 'surprise' was me paying. I only got 50$ grad money, and the bill was 159.98. FML

#2557245
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58781) - you deserved it (4817)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:40am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I left something in my boss' office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breast feeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

#3537464
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35788) - you deserved it (20042)

On 07/06/2009 at 10:09pm - work - by superclutz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to finally use the gym membership I got a few weeks ago. After I returned to the locker room, the locker I used was opened with all my stuff, including my iTouch, cell phone, and my wallet with cash stolen. It turns out I left the sticker that tells you your combo on my new lock. FML

#2112400
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17081) - you deserved it (74156)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:54pm - misc - by Sweeney (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

#101898
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48886) - you deserved it (4434)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:16am - love - by Marleck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

#1722072
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50968) - you deserved it (15070)

On 05/07/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by weliveanddie14 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took the bus to Boston. My bike is in Boston. My bike lock is in Boston. The key is in New York. FML

#4035299
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16007) - you deserved it (36703)

On 07/25/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by zinka - United States (New Jersey)

Today, good news! The guitar I have been saving up for, for 5 months, finally arrived. It came inside a beautiful black and white case, and impossible to get into without the key. They didn't pack the key. FML

#6136343
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (2780)

On 11/03/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by RedLion23 (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

#7107063
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (6708)

On 01/02/2010 at 4:22pm - animals - by Darling_Cherry - United States (California)

Today, my brother's home for his annual visit, lectures my parents once about their eating habits. They promptly throw away all of their junk food. I'm there every Sunday, and have been telling them to eat healthier for medical reasons. They never listen. He's in sales, and I'm in med school. FML

#8195663
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25987) - you deserved it (2908)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML

#8602827
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10597) - you deserved it (24736)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

#10706992
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27122) - you deserved it (10141)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by EmbarrassedDaughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

#8285725
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24008) - you deserved it (3195)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by MisterBrown (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

#13764979
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (4010)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:34pm - health - by Anon - Singapore



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