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Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (4796)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML

#20485066
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30989) - you deserved it (2527)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33096) - you deserved it (3176)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

#20492051
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27499) - you deserved it (2896)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

#20476021
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (2870)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31216) - you deserved it (10152)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML

#20487332
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15321) - you deserved it (38334)

On 01/31/2013 at 6:34am - money - by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

#20536715
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42032) - you deserved it (2687)

On 03/09/2013 at 5:35am - love - by Quiteannoyed (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

#20496640
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33236) - you deserved it (17163)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38806) - you deserved it (8312)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33760) - you deserved it (5287)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7004) - you deserved it (45615)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31485) - you deserved it (3479)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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