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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36373) - you deserved it (2421)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33466) - you deserved it (6460)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33013) - you deserved it (4458)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34261) - you deserved it (2754)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

#648
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19115) - you deserved it (4477)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Nick Nameous - United States (California)

Today, a girl was coming on to me throughout an entire concert, giving me drinks. At the end of the evening, she gave me her MSN address so that we could do other things together. Thanks to all the drinks I'd had, I forgot her address. FML

#2030
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6119) - you deserved it (22763)

On 01/21/2009 at 9:23am - love - by Trash - Sent from mobile version

Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML

#2743
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18792) - you deserved it (1782)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:18pm - health - by ouch - United States (Washington)

Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML

#1471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19947) - you deserved it (2084)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:57pm - kids - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got up the courage to go to my very first voice lesson. I thought I did alright, but at the end my teacher told me, "Now don't worry about grades in this class, I grade on effort, not on talent." FML

#11698
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (2609)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by Lizz (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to Subway to grab some lunch. As I was paying, the cashier gave me a tip. He told me of a great acne medication that would do wonders. Thanks. FML

#13491
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25123) - you deserved it (2965)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by chichi (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37640) - you deserved it (12085)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took the family to the Rainforest Café. There was no parking and I detest paying $12 for valet parking. I parked at Wal-Greens across the street in the only spot without a "patrons only, violators will be towed" sign. It was covered by the tree branches. It cost me $225 for the cab and fine. FML

#5442113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9280) - you deserved it (38670)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:24am - money - by fme (man) - United States (Indiana)



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Wednesday 28 January 2015

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