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Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

#7662732
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31869) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - health - by sixxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got home late after a long day at work and all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed. As soon as the water in the shower was hot, I got in. One minute, I was standing and the next I was fast asleep at the bottom of the tub. I woke up with my face swollen and my shoulder bruised. FML

#13913200
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26763) - you deserved it (5073)

On 11/20/2010 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was just about done with my late-night shift at Ralph's. As I was about to put up my "Closed Lane" sign, an elderly women starts putting items on the conveyor belt. The cost was $14.79, and she paid with pennies. It took her ages to count them all, and I wasn't being paid overtime. FML

#13893679
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29764) - you deserved it (3827)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

#14291054
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30133) - you deserved it (2564)

On 12/21/2010 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asks "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML

#10732441
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38845) - you deserved it (5064)

On 05/24/2010 at 11:14am - intimacy - by weirdedout (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend sat me down to reassure me that his competitive, possessive ex-wife will not come between us or ruin our relationship. Mid-conversation, his phone rang. It was her, and he left to answer it. FML

#12804973
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29679) - you deserved it (3747)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by ForgottenAgain (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I accidentally clamped my hair straightener down on my ear. Eleven hours later, it still feels like I have a burning, swollen fireball hanging off the side of my head. FML

#15681998
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29043) - you deserved it (11812)

On 04/07/2011 at 5:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received the only love letter I've ever gotten. Too bad it's from the guy who's been stalking me. FML

#16756639
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29842) - you deserved it (3803)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:21am - love - by Hello (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML

#19098122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (2375)

On 02/17/2012 at 1:22am - work - by Christinemh329 - United States

Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML

#17869851
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (2281)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML

#17041171
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (13991)

On 07/09/2011 at 2:00pm - misc - by meggiemouse - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML

#19696496
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21443) - you deserved it (7548)

On 05/28/2012 at 11:36pm - misc - by SwimmingInFear - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

#20405129
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17641) - you deserved it (28206)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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