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Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

#20885056
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36232) - you deserved it (2440)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

#20878614
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55859) - you deserved it (3446)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52277) - you deserved it (4789)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48003) - you deserved it (3029)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50886) - you deserved it (7250)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40661) - you deserved it (3186)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

#20917814
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40708) - you deserved it (13088)

On 10/12/2013 at 4:28pm - love - by fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41836) - you deserved it (3678)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

#20928153
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34802) - you deserved it (3527)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by the_lameo_geek (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML

#20921216
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46435) - you deserved it (6101)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:49am - love - by notready (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

#20923758
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45215) - you deserved it (5123)

On 10/17/2013 at 7:51am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

#20932595
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46920) - you deserved it (5499)

On 10/24/2013 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

#20935582
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43524) - you deserved it (4881)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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