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Today, I got to go back into my house after it had been tented. Suddenly, a foul stench filled my house. My husband checked all around the house and finally checked under the house. There were more than 12 dead stray cats under our house, and guess who was in charge of pulling them out? FML

by ahdeadcats / 08/31/2009 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

by Annoymous / 09/03/2009 at 6:19am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I told the man I've been in love with for 3 years, who also happens to be my boss, how I felt. He responds by filing sexual harassment charges against me. FML

by awwshit / 10/13/2009 at 10:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to look at my positive ebay feedback to feel loved. FML

by Anon. / 11/28/2009 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love

Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML

by Ellowise / 12/24/2009 at 5:06am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Health

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

by depressed / 02/22/2010 at 2:23am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

by sixxie / 01/29/2010 at 12:10am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was on webcam for the first time with a guy I've been texting for a while. Trying to show off my guitar skills, I lean down to pick it up and fell on my face. FML

by ditsy / 07/15/2010 at 5:17am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asks "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML

by weirdedout / 05/24/2010 at 11:14am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend sat me down to reassure me that his competitive, possessive ex-wife will not come between us or ruin our relationship. Mid-conversation, his phone rang. It was her, and he left to answer it. FML

by ForgottenAgain / 08/29/2010 at 12:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I was just about done with my late-night shift at Ralph's. As I was about to put up my "Closed Lane" sign, an elderly women starts putting items on the conveyor belt. The cost was $14.79, and she paid with pennies. It took her ages to count them all, and I wasn't being paid overtime. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 10:34pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got home late after a long day at work and all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed. As soon as the water in the shower was hot, I got in. One minute, I was standing and the next I was fast asleep at the bottom of the tub. I woke up with my face swollen and my shoulder bruised. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2010 at 3:16pm / United States / Health