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Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

#4486417
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42157) - you deserved it (4107)

On 08/12/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by Jobless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to look at my positive ebay feedback to feel loved. FML

#6491892
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30960) - you deserved it (5614)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:22am - love - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML

#6917570
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7077) - you deserved it (42236)

On 12/24/2009 at 5:06am - health - by Ellowise (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

#7325738
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20671) - you deserved it (2963)

On 01/13/2010 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by cantgetitupcantgetiton (woman) - United States

Today, I was on webcam for the first time with a guy I've been texting for a while. Trying to show off my guitar skills, I lean down to pick it up and fell on my face. FML

#11894871
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13464) - you deserved it (26276)

On 07/15/2010 at 5:17am - misc - by ditsy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

#7662732
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (1966)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - health - by sixxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got home late after a long day at work and all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed. As soon as the water in the shower was hot, I got in. One minute, I was standing and the next I was fast asleep at the bottom of the tub. I woke up with my face swollen and my shoulder bruised. FML

#13913200
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25960) - you deserved it (4995)

On 11/20/2010 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was just about done with my late-night shift at Ralph's. As I was about to put up my "Closed Lane" sign, an elderly women starts putting items on the conveyor belt. The cost was $14.79, and she paid with pennies. It took her ages to count them all, and I wasn't being paid overtime. FML

#13893679
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28833) - you deserved it (3754)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML

#11102000
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40390) - you deserved it (4128)

On 06/10/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by Aciliveth (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

#14291054
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29285) - you deserved it (2507)

On 12/21/2010 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML

#14220406
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (5754)

On 12/16/2010 at 1:32am - health - by nukebroadcast - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

#12838070
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27381) - you deserved it (9421)

On 08/31/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asks "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML

#10732441
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38036) - you deserved it (4990)

On 05/24/2010 at 11:14am - intimacy - by weirdedout (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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