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Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment's for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket because walking is "too painful". FML

#21234823
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43302) - you deserved it (4740)

On 08/11/2014 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41789) - you deserved it (4060)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

#21354177
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30701) - you deserved it (10243)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm - misc - by assholedad (man) - United States

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
106 comments

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

#21398409
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28722) - you deserved it (8638)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by almost_a_pro - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31498) - you deserved it (4871)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, my father finally achieved his long-held goal. He has legally disowned me. FML

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32535) - you deserved it (3022)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my brother tried cremating our deceased cat. In the oven. My nose has killed itself. FML

Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML

#331
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28954) - you deserved it (9201)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:54am - love - by zevil - Peru (Lima)

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

#1388
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19063) - you deserved it (6351)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:43pm - love - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

#2840
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31269) - you deserved it (4117)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:58pm - love - by fthis - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33413) - you deserved it (5876)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)



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