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Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

#21258006
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46353) - you deserved it (9153)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:32am - love - by jgboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

#21265921
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41194) - you deserved it (3617)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

#21378013
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34808) - you deserved it (5573)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by Fred - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

#21414899
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34610) - you deserved it (2165)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

#21411735
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31179) - you deserved it (4920)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by fuckingdonuts - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

#2475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5580) - you deserved it (40174)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Farva - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML

#1187831
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70058) - you deserved it (4498)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:13am - love - by 5220 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an email from a local company looking to have a website made. I looked over their request and provided them with a reasonable offer. I got an email back stating that they would like to pay me with liquor instead of money. FML

#3822475
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (4127)

On 07/17/2009 at 2:05am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom informed me that she wouldn't be joining the rest of the girls in the limo ride to the church for my wedding ceremony because she wants to have her car with her. Why? Because she is planning to leave my wedding reception half way through to go home and take her dog out to pee. FML

#2357341
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50894) - you deserved it (4753)

On 05/27/2009 at 9:40pm - animals - by KitKat270 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally put the finishing touches on my first vacation in over two years, due to my hellish work schedule. The Governor essentially just vetoed my vacation with evacuation orders. Thanks, Hurricane Irene. FML

#17577670
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28194) - you deserved it (2775)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom came up to the school to give me some money and a few water bottles for my friends and me for soccer practice. Before she left, I said "bye", then I realized my 2-year-old brother waving bye to me. So I bent down through the window to kiss him. As I did, my mom moved the car. It still hurts. FML

Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife...". We all laughed, and then my partner said "Boy, you got THAT right." FML

#6739480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28453) - you deserved it (3720)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML

#8177563
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29288) - you deserved it (1790)

On 02/12/2010 at 7:22pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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