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Today, I switched cell phone service providers, hoping to upgrade. After working out the details and picking a phone in the store, I got home to find my brand new cell can't get a signal in my house. I already signed the two year contract. FML

#19596569
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19444) - you deserved it (5294)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by klynn267 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

#20042763
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6683) - you deserved it (23991)

On 08/26/2012 at 2:27pm - animals - by g'day cunt (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boss announced that instead of holiday bonuses being on the cards, the company is going under and we'll all be out of a job next year. FML

#18412841
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24482) - you deserved it (1844)

On 12/02/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had my first hockey game after being out with a shoulder injury. I ended up cracking my tail bone. FML

#16835605
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29077) - you deserved it (3992)

On 06/24/2011 at 3:17pm - health - by Paul Williams - United States

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

#19482004
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20727) - you deserved it (1847)

On 04/17/2012 at 12:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time. It's a small, old cottage in the countryside. I went up for a shower and didn't realise that the plug hole was blocked. Before I knew it, the bathroom floor was completely flooded and the ceiling below was dripping. FML

#19748438
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17214) - you deserved it (6602)

On 06/07/2012 at 3:47am - misc - by Sophie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after working for over ten years at a dead-end factory line, I told my friends I was going to take some business courses and land myself a real job. All they've done since is laugh, mock me, and say that if Clinton couldn't fix the economy, I have no chance. FML

#18350562
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20497) - you deserved it (2561)

On 11/25/2011 at 8:37pm - work - by workworkwork - United States (Florida)

Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML

#19506511
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21778) - you deserved it (2592)

On 04/21/2012 at 3:26pm - kids - by Lorena - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to spend the morning and afternoon waiting for my uncle to take a crap after his hernia surgery. It never happened, and in the end I drove home, only to find the highway just as backed up as my uncle's colon. FML

#17697581
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19541) - you deserved it (2681)

On 09/08/2011 at 4:47pm - health - by wilmerjean - United States

Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML

#19494854
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8209) - you deserved it (20414)

On 04/19/2012 at 8:37am - health - by Burp (woman) - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML

#19385334
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6125) - you deserved it (28714)

On 03/31/2012 at 10:52pm - misc - by whatnow - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

#19987412
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20129) - you deserved it (2719)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:46pm - misc - by booo - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at a wedding. After videotaping the ceremony for a few minutes, my memory was full. I went to delete another video. I accidentally played the loudest video I had. No one was looking at the bride or groom anymore. FML

#19722666
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18318) - you deserved it (8360)

On 06/02/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by dream1334 (woman) - United States (New York)



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