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Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25895) - you deserved it (4615)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went running to the gym on the way to work and I forgot to bring a spare shirt. All I have to wear is a wet white tshirt. FML

#448
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7248) - you deserved it (14423)

On 12/04/2008 at 2:23am - work - by RadYoHeaD - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, and for the third time this week, my bank manager called me to tell me that my account is still overdrawn. He doesn't seem to understand that my wages always get paid at the end of the month. FML

#488
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15008) - you deserved it (3867)

On 12/10/2008 at 6:09am - money - by dmlk - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got demoted at my job. Instead of working with patients, they want me to file. The thing is, I'm a volunteer; I work for them for free. FML

#1523
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12595) - you deserved it (2241)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:44pm - work - by wasted_life - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I bought a party bowl of Bud Light for a get-together. Around midnight, I realized that I didn't have the tap to get the beer out. Fifty-five cans of untappable beer and no more beer money. FML

#1649
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3481) - you deserved it (14269)

On 01/18/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Colleen - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching TV and realised I am attracted to Sandra Oh. FML

#1774
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5005) - you deserved it (9811)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12pm - love - by Noname - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

#2316
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13817) - you deserved it (5359)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:12am - love - by LC - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17942) - you deserved it (1429)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML

#1471
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15030) - you deserved it (1632)

On 01/17/2009 at 3:57pm - kids - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after failing my Ls twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mums car into an old ladys fence and ended up in her backyard. FML

#5163445
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6313) - you deserved it (31597)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

#6573987
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18781) - you deserved it (4056)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by kay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally had enough money to buy my girlfriend an engagement ring, which I was going to pick up after work. On my way to work, I slid on the ice and crashed into a parked vehicle. The damage to my car is almost twice the amount of the ring. FML

#6536864
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29531) - you deserved it (2850)

On 11/30/2009 at 6:24pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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