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Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20699633
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47813) - you deserved it (4019)

On 06/01/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39192) - you deserved it (9735)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64047) - you deserved it (3439)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49460) - you deserved it (3666)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

#20728616
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53521) - you deserved it (4123)

On 06/16/2013 at 12:54am - love - by fun (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

#20729746
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49403) - you deserved it (5711)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by ... (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65371) - you deserved it (4304)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (6637)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50051) - you deserved it (11658)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

#20729679
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43857) - you deserved it (3880)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38783) - you deserved it (5438)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41050) - you deserved it (3491)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML



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