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Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML

#8733568
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18698) - you deserved it (15897)

On 02/28/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by Ben - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it appears that my upstairs neighbour has decided to learn how to play the trombone. FML

#8585714
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25231) - you deserved it (2697)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML

#14374773
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26415) - you deserved it (11710)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my external hard drive broke. My husband tried to fix it, and the computer told him he needed to format it. Apparently he didn't know what formatting does, so he did it. I'm a wedding photographer and had a full summer of unfinished wedding photography on there. FML

#12822574
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37288) - you deserved it (7006)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:42pm - work - by photogirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got mugged. They wanted my phone and wallet. The most important thing in my wallet was my fully punched Smoothie King card. FML

#9100714
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25496) - you deserved it (3695)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:05am - money - by ashleeylynn - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

#13754540
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (6238)

On 11/07/2010 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

#10841820
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39313) - you deserved it (3174)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by thanksmum (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

#12638821
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29320) - you deserved it (3052)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by home owner - United States (New York)

Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML

#12538079
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:05pm - health - by shinee - Singapore

Today, I was getting ready to load my groceries in my car when my remote wouldn't work and neither would my key to unlock it. A cute young guy came over, not to help but to ask me what the hell I was doing to his car. My car, that looked exactly like his, was on the other side of the lot. FML

#13341534
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19756) - you deserved it (12444)

On 10/06/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by ctschantz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to do 40 squats with a medicine ball. I always made fun of medicine balls my whole life because they looked so easy that even senior citizens did them. I passed out in the middle of the gym. FML

#14569755
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6083) - you deserved it (35039)

On 01/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by shadowsonicstar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

#15320061
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29512) - you deserved it (13510)

On 03/15/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by nocakeforyou! -

Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML

#15260624
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34233) - you deserved it (3942)

On 03/10/2011 at 8:17am - misc - by hackling fellow -



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