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Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

#19615153
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20346) - you deserved it (2690)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:28am - health - by whatevershit - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML

#19659834
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21395) - you deserved it (4782)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend promised me he wouldn't leave me alone in Niagara. I'm currently sitting alone in the hotel room drinking a bottle of wine while he gambles away money he doesn't have. FML

#20116235
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21379) - you deserved it (3216)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:43am - love - by lonelygirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML

#19943890
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7562) - you deserved it (31228)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by SCdriver (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

#20063395
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17763) - you deserved it (2120)

On 09/08/2012 at 4:32pm - health - by balletteacher - United States

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

#20060408
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18008) - you deserved it (4047)

On 09/06/2012 at 12:51pm - work - by SummerJob (woman) -

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

#20032631
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (1870)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML

#19787212
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9815) - you deserved it (27194)

On 06/14/2012 at 1:42pm - misc - by bad son - United States (California)

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

#20081331
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20291) - you deserved it (1728)

On 09/20/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML

#19989463
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8282) - you deserved it (29473)

On 07/28/2012 at 6:15pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

#19945727
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22779) - you deserved it (2365)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by CantBlink - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML

#20114676
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18925) - you deserved it (2707)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML

#19950603
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20131) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:47pm - kids - by ssydneyy - United States (New Jersey)



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