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Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

#20060408
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17980) - you deserved it (4047)

On 09/06/2012 at 12:51pm - work - by SummerJob (woman) -

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

#20032631
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26199) - you deserved it (1870)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML

#19787212
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9734) - you deserved it (27016)

On 06/14/2012 at 1:42pm - misc - by bad son - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML

#19989463
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8276) - you deserved it (29443)

On 07/28/2012 at 6:15pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

#19945727
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (2365)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by CantBlink - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML

#20114676
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (2707)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:22am - kids - by Shiverice - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML

#19950603
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20115) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:47pm - kids - by ssydneyy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

#20099840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16032) - you deserved it (16986)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by Jlhfan90 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents changed the code on our alarm system while they were out of town. The police could not verify I was their son, despite spending hours trying to get hold of them. They thought it was just another telemarketer. FML

#20085837
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19575) - you deserved it (1236)

On 09/23/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my laptop back after waiting weeks for it to be fixed. It turns out that they didn't fix it; they dusted it off, held it for a few days, and sent it back. FML

#19985315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21295) - you deserved it (1622)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a perm in an attempt to prove to my family that I'd been doing well with my life since I last saw them almost a year ago. I ended up going over for dinner looking like Bozo the Clown thanks to my idiot stylist, and my brothers wouldn't stop mocking me about it. FML

#20050563
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8200) - you deserved it (21026)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:57am - misc - by Bozo (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as I entered a stairwell, the fire alarm went off, triggering the automatic fire doors to close. The one I was walking through ran over my foot, ripping my toenail, and then smacked me in the face. FML

#20113123
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20350) - you deserved it (1658)

On 10/12/2012 at 1:58am - misc - by minustoenail - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22970) - you deserved it (1704)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)



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