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Today, my girlfriend and I attempted some bondage for the first time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being put on, I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; my girlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML

#20806809
118 comments

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

#20802821
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47148) - you deserved it (5506)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by ........................... (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46952) - you deserved it (7933)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

#20873101
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19600) - you deserved it (98609)

On 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm - love - by verbaltodomestic (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67237) - you deserved it (5801)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML

#20829503
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36273) - you deserved it (3254)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1! (woman) - United States

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40315) - you deserved it (2517)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

#20844156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45418) - you deserved it (2581)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

#20854994
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50927) - you deserved it (13306)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

#20842035
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54510) - you deserved it (3707)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm - love - by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

#20854260
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45471) - you deserved it (2961)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (2346)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)



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