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Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39131) - you deserved it (9724)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57758) - you deserved it (4103)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63939) - you deserved it (3434)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

#20728616
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53437) - you deserved it (4119)

On 06/16/2013 at 12:54am - love - by fun (man) - United States

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55716) - you deserved it (4110)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML

#20729746
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48935) - you deserved it (5653)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by ... (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42583) - you deserved it (6585)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49980) - you deserved it (11641)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

#20729679
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43794) - you deserved it (3877)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38723) - you deserved it (5431)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

#20736762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48813) - you deserved it (3150)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:35am - money - by what_the_hell (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39702) - you deserved it (4798)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40982) - you deserved it (3487)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)



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