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Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 9:09am / United States / Health

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

by anonymous / 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 12:12am / United States (California) / Work

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

by Meghan / 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my mom has gone completely insane and insists we only flush the toilet or wash our hands at the start or end of the day, "to save on bills." My young sister thinks it's the best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touch everyone's faces. FML

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

by traveling / 07/09/2013 at 7:18am / Holidays

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

by LadyFahrenheit / 07/09/2013 at 8:14pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML

by uniannonymous / 08/04/2013 at 4:37am / United Kingdom (Merton) / Love

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

by tigger2013 / 08/03/2013 at 12:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

by Norvi / 09/14/2013 at 1:51am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2014 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

by mr1234 / 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, the heater went out at work. I was shivering so hard that someone thought I was having a seizure. FML

by Frozen / 03/10/2014 at 10:23am / United States / Work