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Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43054) - you deserved it (5787)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

#20817944
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55191) - you deserved it (5242)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:01am - intimacy - by tigger2013 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

#21078902
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41671) - you deserved it (3128)

On 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm - work - by mr1234 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML

#21066280
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39593) - you deserved it (4817)

On 02/20/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

#21096273
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41807) - you deserved it (3461)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the heater went out at work. I was shivering so hard that someone thought I was having a seizure. FML

#21083045
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41220) - you deserved it (3864)

On 03/10/2014 at 10:23am - work - by Frozen (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to get a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML

#21104753
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39055) - you deserved it (5607)

On 04/04/2014 at 9:57pm - misc - by Violet (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML

#21348955
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29993) - you deserved it (2665)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:26am - animals - by dogbreederssuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

#21443899
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27262) - you deserved it (2038)

On 07/19/2015 at 5:02am - misc - by wtf did he do - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML

#24997
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35490) - you deserved it (8214)

On 02/11/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by seriously?! (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML

#2341558
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50917) - you deserved it (7052)

On 05/27/2009 at 2:15pm - kids - by boo (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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