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Today, I was holding my baby daughter during a checkup. To reassure her, I was kissing the back of her head while the Dr. was checking her hearing. After a few minutes, I realized the Dr. had put his hand to steady her head. I was kissing his hand. FML

#4210609
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38557) - you deserved it (21788)

On 08/01/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by smoochie -

Today, I was getting my portrait done. The artist told me to smile. He looked at me, then said, "Oh, don't smile." FML

#10066233
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30991) - you deserved it (4162)

On 04/22/2010 at 1:37pm - health - by :) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, after handing out several résumés for several jobs, I realized that I forgot to add my phone number to them. FML

#19188907
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9692) - you deserved it (28588)

On 02/29/2012 at 1:21pm - work - by tammylauraine - United States

Today, I paid £140 for a train ticket. All the seats were full. When I sat in the corridor the guard yelled at me. I paid £140 to stand outside a stinking train toilet for 7 hours. FML

#15858799
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27752) - you deserved it (2912)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Sivvus (woman) - Reserved

Today, the heat rash that has been devouring my side for the last week was revealed to be something much worse: shingles. FML

#17300096
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (2813)

On 07/29/2011 at 5:40pm - health - by ivannooze - United States

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

#18757985
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9671) - you deserved it (21206)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:48pm - health - by owwwwwe - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I needed to buy a new crash-helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML

#18028228
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19079) - you deserved it (8385)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Helmet (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

#19787882
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20802) - you deserved it (2378)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:40pm - misc - by eeeee (woman) - United States

Today, I had my first hockey game after being out with a shoulder injury. I ended up cracking my tail bone. FML

#16835605
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29339) - you deserved it (4012)

On 06/24/2011 at 3:17pm - health - by Paul Williams - United States

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (2937)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I had my back waxed to deal with the uncontrollable hair growth. Afterwards, I broke out in numerous pimples where the hair used to be. Basically, a lose-lose situation. FML

#17308613
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (3404)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Mitcha857 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my hatred for IKEA reignited when I rammed my knee into my hotel bathroom's plexiglass counter top while I was drying myself off. Their interior designer must have have been suffering brain damage when she matched everything with the floor tiles. FML

Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML

#19282495
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19599) - you deserved it (11570)

On 03/15/2012 at 12:13pm - work - by davey d (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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