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Today, I received an anonymous letter telling me that I smell bad, and suggesting that I wear more deodorant. Apparently my BO is so bad that someone feels the need to stalk me to point it out. FML

by speedstick / 09/07/2010 at 11:36am / United States / Health

Today, I got into my car and realised that my CDs were no longer in my glove box. According to the police, the random key code for my car type has been cracked, and thieves can now let themselves in whenever they want. The manufacturer says they can't do anything about it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation

Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 2:12am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML

by mimabee / 06/14/2011 at 9:56am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. His reason was because he's moving away for college. That won't be for another year. FML

by youngblood / 06/19/2011 at 9:20pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, I went to see a movie I'd been waiting months for. A couple of women sat down a few rows in front of me with five infants. The infants cried and wailed throughout. I'm not sure I have any idea what was actually said in any of the dialogue. FML

by AceGeek / 07/22/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML

by oops / 08/08/2011 at 2:11pm / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Health

Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML

by scribbler8 / 10/14/2011 at 5:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I spent two hours driving all over town looking for a store that sold pumpkins. When I finally found some, I was charged ten dollars per pumpkin. Later, I went to my town's annual Halloween festival and discovered they were giving pumpkins away for free. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 9:16am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I convinced my teacher to let me resit a very important test I failed. I got a lower score the second time around. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 12:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML

by LiquorChick / 01/20/2012 at 3:23am / United States / Transportation

Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML

by ugh / 04/21/2012 at 1:12am / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, a cop turned his lights and siren on to pull me over. I pulled into a parking lot and got a ticket. It wasn't until the cop pulled away that I realized that I'd pulled into, and interrupted, an on-going funeral visitation. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 11:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous