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Today, I told my father I registered for the Marines, and that I'm leaving for bootcamp next week. He asked if this means that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. FML

#12401273
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30780) - you deserved it (3308)

On 08/09/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by Widowmaker - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

#14415178
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (5762)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by haappynewyear - United States (Utah)

Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML

#14300569
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (4384)

On 12/22/2010 at 5:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML

#14458988
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26703) - you deserved it (2670)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML

#17407697
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (3553)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:11pm - health - by oops (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I spent two hours driving all over town looking for a store that sold pumpkins. When I finally found some, I was charged ten dollars per pumpkin. Later, I went to my town's annual Halloween festival and discovered they were giving pumpkins away for free. FML

#18110150
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25583) - you deserved it (8590)

On 10/30/2011 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML

#17980865
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24843) - you deserved it (2398)

On 10/14/2011 at 5:35am - work - by scribbler8 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I was one point away from passing a state science exam. FML

#16697942
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32774) - you deserved it (10242)

On 06/16/2011 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I convinced my teacher to let me resit a very important test I failed. I got a lower score the second time around. FML

#18120511
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11392) - you deserved it (33480)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML

#18859567
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (3297)

On 01/20/2012 at 3:23am - work - by LiquorChick (woman) - United States

Today, a cop turned his lights and siren on to pull me over. I pulled into a parking lot and got a ticket. It wasn't until the cop pulled away that I realized that I'd pulled into, and interrupted, an on-going funeral visitation. FML

#19847830
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (4833)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19553) - you deserved it (3640)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

#20433319
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (2967)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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