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Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31697) - you deserved it (2633)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

#20497390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13070) - you deserved it (50484)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30148) - you deserved it (3502)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23670) - you deserved it (2767)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39986) - you deserved it (9632)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML

#20517777
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28680) - you deserved it (10425)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

#20522100
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26256) - you deserved it (2244)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36708) - you deserved it (6088)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

#20533458
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (3656)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33496) - you deserved it (2986)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

#20538233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45409) - you deserved it (4447)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44698) - you deserved it (3386)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML



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