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Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26962) - you deserved it (2165)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (2626)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

#20497390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13049) - you deserved it (50444)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29552) - you deserved it (3439)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38415) - you deserved it (9375)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

#20507668
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33521) - you deserved it (3676)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML

#20517777
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28648) - you deserved it (10412)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

#20522100
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26221) - you deserved it (2242)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

#20536217
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34574) - you deserved it (2907)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36393) - you deserved it (6055)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

#20533458
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29430) - you deserved it (3654)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33467) - you deserved it (2983)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

#20538233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45352) - you deserved it (4447)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)



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