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Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

#5565703
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (3420)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Rockyio (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

#6055815
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (5218)

On 10/29/2009 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a bee flew in my car so I swerved off the road and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice I fled the scene. Later my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML

#6255254
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6917) - you deserved it (42600)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by Sybil90 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see for two hours. FML

#6631791
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (3866)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:03am - health - by lol (woman) - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

#6413436
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18812) - you deserved it (6247)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by NotsexyEnough - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out I've recently developed a bladder control issue. Every time I lift anything more than about fifteen pounds, I pee myself a little. I work in a warehouse. Heavy lifting is my job. FML

#7216883
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34446) - you deserved it (2547)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by mcpeepants (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my wife of four years confessed to me that she only married me for the money. FML

#8852527
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34056) - you deserved it (3526)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:05pm - money - by mrrichkid - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone broke into my car to steal $1.50. FML

#10908235
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34829) - you deserved it (3589)

On 06/01/2010 at 2:47pm - money - by Brokeashell - United States

Today, I took out my ear cartilage piercing. With my comb. FML

#14233403
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (9779)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:13am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my boyfriend thinks I'm too high maintenance because I have a chronic illness which requires frequent hospitalization. FML

#9059310
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32785) - you deserved it (3319)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by bobby - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

#14415178
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30348) - you deserved it (5873)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by haappynewyear - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

#14606739
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (4505)

On 01/16/2011 at 10:59pm - misc - by sos (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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