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Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

#20925494
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53547) - you deserved it (5073)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40944) - you deserved it (2584)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36202) - you deserved it (3310)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML

#20987358
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (5715)

On 12/10/2013 at 2:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55624) - you deserved it (8454)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42432) - you deserved it (12797)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54951) - you deserved it (4027)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML

#20967193
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59745) - you deserved it (5540)

On 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45971) - you deserved it (3799)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36560) - you deserved it (3219)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44380) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

#21021762
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38508) - you deserved it (10731)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm - love - by Unfortunately Me (woman) - United States (California)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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