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Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

#20576526
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36005) - you deserved it (2205)

On 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML

#20612786
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44369) - you deserved it (3192)

On 04/22/2013 at 9:22am - work - by work -_- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my grandpa moved into the apartment next door. The walls are wafer-thin. Goodbye sex life. FML

Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML

#20603007
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49867) - you deserved it (5801)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34725) - you deserved it (4611)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my 6-year-old son spotted a bumper sticker that said, "Get any closer and I'll fart." He thought this was so hilarious that he had to repeat it to everyone he met. Including my doctor, my grandma, and my boss at "bring your kid to work day." FML

#20682342
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (4687)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Mary (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48518) - you deserved it (6509)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40830) - you deserved it (10482)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML

#20625530
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47413) - you deserved it (2975)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:23pm - health - by stuckwithafamilyofcunts (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML

#20620574
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51195) - you deserved it (13706)

On 04/25/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

#20649324
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35899) - you deserved it (4291)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19394) - you deserved it (44444)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

#20698485
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45472) - you deserved it (21686)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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