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Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34892) - you deserved it (9782)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37393) - you deserved it (2764)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (3698)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

#20469230
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (4784)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9415) - you deserved it (52816)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

#20497809
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36373) - you deserved it (8452)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

#20501281
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27156) - you deserved it (2571)

On 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by obsequiousfannyflapper (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38661) - you deserved it (11242)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

#20499258
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43651) - you deserved it (5594)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25173) - you deserved it (2909)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

#20507668
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33707) - you deserved it (3687)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44863) - you deserved it (3393)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)



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