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Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML

#125305
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44456) - you deserved it (6554)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:14pm - health - by Sheezey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I poured myself some punch into a mug I have sitting on a shelf at my studio. Upon tipping it upside down to swallow the last few delicious drops, I see a cluster of mouse droppings stuck to the bottom. FML

Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML

#4626949
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38474) - you deserved it (12231)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by itzcorinnelove (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at a concert and the guy who was selling the drinks tripped and fell down the stairs, landing on the floor next to me and the drinks went all over. I went to make sure he was okay and helped pick up the drinks. After assuring me he was okay, he gave me a free soda. It exploded. FML

#4875760
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38953) - you deserved it (13416)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by blinkme (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36422) - you deserved it (3176)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my company was throwing a work picnic. When i showed up, I realized that it had been planned months ago and I wasn't supposed to find out. The entire restaurant was there greeting me with faces of utter shock. Nothing says 'you suck' more than being 'that guy' at your job. FML

#4990869
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42155) - you deserved it (6005)

On 09/02/2009 at 12:29am - work - by Joel (man) - United States (California)

Today, my four year old got mad that he couldn't find his favorite character on the Wii. So, he decided to smash the Wii remote into my $700 LCD TV, shattering the screen. That was the only TV in the house, and the $80 service plan I bought doesn't cover accidental damage. FML

#6370061
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (8418)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:14pm - kids - by mizzy (woman) - United States

Today, I went to our school golf banquet, after being with the team and practicing every day for a few months with them. When it came time to get the certificates, all the names were called out. Except for mine. When I asked the coach where my certificate was, he said "Who are you?". FML

#6158191
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33806) - you deserved it (3159)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by RKE (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I left my friend this big Facebook wall comment about how adorable his son is. Just after posting, I read the other peoples' comments and find out that it's his daughter. FML

#6544592
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9526) - you deserved it (38264)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:53pm - kids - by PntsLessWonder (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of 2 years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#6908981
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24169) - you deserved it (4076)

On 12/23/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by everybodysfool (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

#6990469
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (6754)

On 12/28/2009 at 9:00am - love - by For (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML

#6838288
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5673) - you deserved it (44019)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:24pm - misc - by Poser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while taking a shower, I noticed that I had forgotten to shave my pits. I went to a party last night, and there are now several Facebook pictures of me dancing, with my arms up and my hairy pits showing for the world to see. FML

#7029782
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13779) - you deserved it (37779)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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