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Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML

#19671365
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17099) - you deserved it (2336)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:41am - money - by hunterjumper1212 - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

#19596510
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17553) - you deserved it (4801)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19am - health - by Slowsky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML

#19686709
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21724) - you deserved it (1510)

On 05/27/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by shadow1248 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finally picked up my new bank card after my old one was stolen. It took the bank six weeks and five separate orders to figure it out, on top of which they've charged me a rush fee. FML

#20046256
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19101) - you deserved it (1508)

On 08/28/2012 at 1:50pm - money - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

#19615153
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18376) - you deserved it (2491)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:28am - health - by whatevershit - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML

#19659834
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20040) - you deserved it (4613)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was admitted to hospital for suspected kidney failure. I called my best friend to let her know I couldn't make it to her birthday party tonight. She seemed to be infinitely more upset that I wouldn't be able to give her a birthday present. FML

#19715534
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21174) - you deserved it (1722)

On 06/01/2012 at 1:58pm - health - by Ashe (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend promised me he wouldn't leave me alone in Niagara. I'm currently sitting alone in the hotel room drinking a bottle of wine while he gambles away money he doesn't have. FML

#20116235
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20150) - you deserved it (3090)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:43am - love - by lonelygirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML

#19943890
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7469) - you deserved it (30932)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by SCdriver (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

#20032631
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24589) - you deserved it (1756)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (2021)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML

#19787212
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8904) - you deserved it (25123)

On 06/14/2012 at 1:42pm - misc - by bad son - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML

#19989463
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7922) - you deserved it (28567)

On 07/28/2012 at 6:15pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)



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