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Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line. FML

#20927328
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43930) - you deserved it (6549)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

#20928153
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36722) - you deserved it (3710)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by the_lameo_geek (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42594) - you deserved it (2739)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57659) - you deserved it (4243)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48157) - you deserved it (12656)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

#20939700
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46962) - you deserved it (5334)

On 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by Rinelric1998 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44025) - you deserved it (13214)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31055) - you deserved it (46354)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

#20988052
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (20005)

On 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43697) - you deserved it (2937)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

#21016927
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41969) - you deserved it (16722)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by awkwardpartybear (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65255) - you deserved it (5416)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML



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