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Today, I found out that while getting your hair cut, you should say 'yes' or 'no', instead of nodding your head. FML

by Username / 07/01/2010 at 12:55am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I'm the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

by Cheyenne / 07/11/2010 at 2:06am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML

by Luke / 07/25/2010 at 6:47pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend informed me that she is still in love with the guy she cheated on me with. She admitted that she would be willing to do anything with him if he wanted to. And, "He's a better kisser too." FML

by laterchoice / 10/02/2010 at 12:22am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I got home from my holidays to find my flatmate has moved his girlfriend in without asking me. Not only does she walk around naked, she has also redecorated the rooms. FML

by iluvpeanutbutter / 01/29/2011 at 1:13am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent an email to a girl I like about how I really feel about her. She later replied "Real funny, tell Michael to change his password!" FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2011 at 1:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I filed my taxes. As a divorcée with children, I was supposed to get $3,500 back from the IRS. Alas, my ex's new wife already filed with my children, who don't live with her. I now owe the IRS $250. FML

by fuckmylifeLulu / 04/09/2011 at 12:07pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 11:31am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML

by hunter168647 / 07/02/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Georgia) / Money

Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML

by a-mishunderstanding / 08/08/2011 at 12:07am / Work

Today, at work, a customer came in. Since I was behind the counter, I asked if she needed help with anything. I've worked there for five years, and I didn't recognize my own boss. FML

by DramaticSigh / 08/15/2011 at 1:00am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML

by SoccerBabe42 / 12/26/2011 at 7:11am / Canada / Love

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm / Germany (Saarland) / Holidays