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Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

#20654383
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51781) - you deserved it (3978)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm - love - by paintfarts1976 (woman) - Ireland (Westmeath)

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59766) - you deserved it (7253)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56236) - you deserved it (3858)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44137) - you deserved it (4262)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47346) - you deserved it (2729)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82611) - you deserved it (3513)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

#20694473
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55957) - you deserved it (9312)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51900) - you deserved it (3913)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

#20747890
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (7180)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42690) - you deserved it (3166)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51306) - you deserved it (11928)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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