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Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42470) - you deserved it (3539)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51148) - you deserved it (5029)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42075) - you deserved it (8560)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44218) - you deserved it (8313)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47678) - you deserved it (5515)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52038) - you deserved it (16835)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40208) - you deserved it (4848)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46054) - you deserved it (8305)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

#21198613
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38845) - you deserved it (4121)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:41pm - kids - by neryc (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40317) - you deserved it (11243)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was the concert of my life. I had bought tickets the minute they went on sale, and I'd anxiously waited until the concert date. 30 minutes before the show, my friend got so drunk that we weren't allowed in, and I was stuck babysitting her all night in the hotel, completely missing the show. FML

#19566777
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28558) - you deserved it (3912)

On 05/03/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by savanna (woman) - United States



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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