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Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

#21355556
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36212) - you deserved it (2613)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36670) - you deserved it (3173)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML

#21455905
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (1522)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ukraine (Donets'ka Oblast')

Today, I was on a transatlantic flight, ear plugs in my ears. The steward walked past with a plastic bag. I threw my litter into it and didn't immediately understand why he said, "Very funny, sir." It wasn't a bin bag, he was collecting for Unicef. FML

#461
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21285) - you deserved it (9300)

On 12/06/2008 at 10:49pm - misc - by greg76 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend and I were in a hallway talking while a man kept walking by and turning around. I then asked him "WHAT are you LOOKING for!". It was a blind man. FML

#3202
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5931) - you deserved it (24594)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by wsumt - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

#3992
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7062) - you deserved it (84063)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:48am - love - by jeesh - United States (New York)

Today, I left my grandmother's burial to take a midterm. Earlier I e-mailed the professor to ask permission to take it later, and she flat out said "no." I left my grieving family, and traveled hours back to school. I went to class, only to discover that the prof decided to move the exam date. FML

#3069327
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56834) - you deserved it (2194)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by goodstudent (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so being polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board. FML

#2792328
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18822) - you deserved it (51745)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by silly_billy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML

Today, I went to the hospital in premature labor. Alone, I texted my best friend/crush and asked him to come and sit with me for an hour while I waited on my mom to arrive. Eating cornflakes and watching TV, he replied "I can't". Apparently TV is more important than a best friend in labor. FML

Today, I found out that my extremely-flat chested cousin recently got a boob job. When my mom found out, she said "Oh that's great! They look so good!". Then she looks at me and tells me that I should get one. Everyone including my own mother thinks I should get a boob job. FML

#2795641
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49425) - you deserved it (4971)

On 06/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by strawberrykiwi62 (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML

#676610
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62328) - you deserved it (6493)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)



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