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Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38426) - you deserved it (3043)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45259) - you deserved it (14138)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58323) - you deserved it (6224)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (33623)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

#21058436
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45094) - you deserved it (7026)

On 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41250) - you deserved it (4655)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66974) - you deserved it (6395)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

#21103818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45256) - you deserved it (3606)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by kubbyp (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49701) - you deserved it (13816)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42467) - you deserved it (3538)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (8560)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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