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Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML

#942012
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56232) - you deserved it (3612)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by fatface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML

#3544165
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9974) - you deserved it (61915)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by DMO (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went shopping with my friend. The store was having a special where if you spend over $75 you receive a free T-shirt. I paid for my items and my total was over $75. The salesman didn't hand me a shirt so I asked him for one. He looks at me and says "I'm sorry, we only have Mediums." FML

#1008885
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59478) - you deserved it (7175)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by arrogantlondon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so being polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board. FML

#2792328
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (52527)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by silly_billy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

#21293677
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32520) - you deserved it (15148)

On 11/06/2014 at 8:55pm - animals - by dwood08 - United States (New York)

Today, while at work at Wendy's, a lady came through the drive-thru with her kid. As I was handing them their order, her child points to me and exclaims "mommy, I thought you weren't supposed to work at places like this when you get older". FML

Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

#5764838
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15441) - you deserved it (37665)

On 10/10/2009 at 9:04pm - work - by SadisticSatire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed help using the machine so the lady that works there came over and tried to load my pictures. I heard some snickering behind me from the people in line. Turns out the pictures loaded. Even the nude ones I forgot about. FML

#5064237
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8266) - you deserved it (46267)

On 09/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by indecentcameraexposure (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was frustrated at work so to have fun, I wrote an email to myself saying that I was great and loved myself and should relax. I used all different colors and fonts. Instead of hitting "delete", I hit "print" without realizing. My manager got it out of the printer and put it on my desk. FML

#5658558
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9879) - you deserved it (37720)

On 10/05/2009 at 6:49am - work - by Me (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I was at the Polish border when I found my passport was gone. I contacted the last place I stayed at and the owner said he would handle it. I reluctantly agreed as I was being charged international rates. Apparently, "taking care of it" means telling the embassy I'm retarded. FML

#4176027
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36645) - you deserved it (6043)

On 07/31/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

Today, I found out the weekly coffee talks my husband was having with his ex-girlfriend stopped involving coffee about 2 years ago. FML

#6647027
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35896) - you deserved it (20296)

On 12/07/2009 at 5:33am - love - by Jane (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was excited to hear that I received three of my grad school recommendations in the mail from a very busy professor. They need to be submitted sealed, and of course, my nosy mom decided to open them. FML

#13785439
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36271) - you deserved it (2567)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by dcsunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found out that he had a girlfriend while he was inside me. FML

#10707896
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45415) - you deserved it (6865)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:08am - intimacy - by coltsfoot (woman) - Norway (Ostfold)



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