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Today, my parents went to the Cayman Islands, leaving me at home in freezing Iowa. Also, even though I never get into trouble, they don't trust me enough to be home on my own. So they hired a babysitter to stay with me until they get back. I'm 17. FML

by wtf / 11/29/2010 at 11:05am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my mother to pay back the $50 she owes me. Rather than paying me back, she raced off to "work". She's been unemployed for 3 years. FML

by FMarinasL / 06/30/2011 at 7:43pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I got rear-ended while on my way to work. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't pregnant, suffering from a horrible UTI, and running a fever. My boss called in sick, so now I'm stuck running the office alone. With whiplash. FML

by ReallyNow / 09/01/2011 at 1:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my fiancé and I appeared in the paper for obtaining our marriage license. In the same column half way down his parents appeared for filing their marriage dissolution petition. FML

by Queen_Dread / 05/04/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my boyfriend promised me he wouldn't leave me alone in Niagara. I'm currently sitting alone in the hotel room drinking a bottle of wine while he gambles away money he doesn't have. FML

by lonelygirl / 10/14/2012 at 8:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits / 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a woman demanded a refund for a video game. She had no receipt, so due to company policy, I couldn't refund her. She reacted by loudly accusing me of being racist, then yelled that she'd see me in court as she finally stormed out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2013 at 3:15pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Work

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

by NotTheSoulMate / 09/26/2013 at 2:54am / United States / Love

Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML

by LetMeOut / 11/11/2013 at 1:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

by LizGo / 11/17/2013 at 1:00am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

by Order of the Dangling Testicles / 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found out that my favorite band logo is no longer being used by said band because of copyright issues. I have this logo tattooed on my body. FML

by Cult / 03/30/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2014 at 3:00pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous