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Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML

#19659834
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15763) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was admitted to hospital for suspected kidney failure. I called my best friend to let her know I couldn't make it to her birthday party tonight. She seemed to be infinitely more upset that I wouldn't be able to give her a birthday present. FML

#19715534
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18955) - you deserved it (1542)

On 06/01/2012 at 1:58pm - health - by Ashe (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend promised me he wouldn't leave me alone in Niagara. I'm currently sitting alone in the hotel room drinking a bottle of wine while he gambles away money he doesn't have. FML

#20116235
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18753) - you deserved it (2953)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:43am - love - by lonelygirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML

#19943890
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6871) - you deserved it (29210)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by SCdriver (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17434) - you deserved it (1721)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML

#19787212
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7343) - you deserved it (21304)

On 06/14/2012 at 1:42pm - misc - by bad son - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML

#19989463
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7256) - you deserved it (26982)

On 07/28/2012 at 6:15pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I'm so broke that I got buyer's remorse after buying a $2 bottle of pancake syrup. FML

#20042959
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17502) - you deserved it (2048)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:05pm - money - by Tanuki_paws - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

#19945727
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17724) - you deserved it (1959)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by CantBlink - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

#20098400
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17212) - you deserved it (2291)

On 10/02/2012 at 2:27pm - work - by friendlessatwork (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML

#19950603
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15515) - you deserved it (2295)

On 07/17/2012 at 3:47pm - kids - by ssydneyy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML

#20031031
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16706) - you deserved it (5649)

On 08/20/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Cottagecheeseha (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my tire blew while I was on the freeway. I had to change the tire in pouring rain while wearing short shorts and flip-flops. No one stopped to help, but several people politely honked as if to remind me of my misfortune. FML

#20062636
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16688) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by wonder woman (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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