Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

#4467592
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41612) - you deserved it (12340)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by ohdang (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML

#5480750
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36901) - you deserved it (6160)

On 09/26/2009 at 4:00am - misc - by vcarder - United Kingdom

Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML

#5209452
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7210) - you deserved it (52477)

On 09/12/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I went to the mall and couldn't find a parking spot. After circling around for 20 minutes, I finally saw a shaded spot in the uncovered parking lot area under a tree. It turns out, I parked under a coconut tree. I could tell from the coconut planted into my hood. FML

#5225879
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32253) - you deserved it (9450)

On 09/13/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by superjstorm (man) - Philippines (Nueva Ecija)

Today, I went to the allergist. I found out that I am allergic to dogs, cats, wool, fleece, and pet dander. I'm currently planning to go to school to become a veterinarian. FML

#6054413
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39872) - you deserved it (3505)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by KMack (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML

#6007268
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34509) - you deserved it (5139)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by ohhhgross (woman) - Singapore

Today, I got an invitation to my "going away lunch" the company is throwing for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

#6243390
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32848) - you deserved it (1830)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:16pm - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

#7327213
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8158) - you deserved it (38629)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by nekkiddrunk - United States

Today, I reached in between the couch cushions to see if my iPod had slipped in there. I didn't find my iPod, but I did find an old utility knife blade. With my fingers. FML

#13858571
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31099) - you deserved it (4638)

On 11/15/2010 at 10:25pm - health - by n0taplumber - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked my boyfriend advice on apartment hunting - as we were planning to move in with each other. He told me that there is no way he can afford to move out of his parents' house anytime soon. He can, however, afford a collection of belt-fed automatic nerf guns. FML

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

#7624782
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17345) - you deserved it (23272)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:41pm - misc - by spleechick - United States (California)

Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML

#12175151
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (8712)

On 07/28/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by runandmope (man) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: