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Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34300) - you deserved it (3707)
On 04/11/2013 at 3:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38090) - you deserved it (8653)
On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)
Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41868) - you deserved it (2616)
On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States
Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32069) - you deserved it (2842)
On 04/18/2013 at 8:06pm - misc - by s0m3guy2010 - United States
Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45216) - you deserved it (3058)
On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31276) - you deserved it (3439)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by vegas518 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37764) - you deserved it (2813)
On 04/21/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by wallet? GONE (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48205) - you deserved it (4188)
On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40003) - you deserved it (3078)
On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (54638)
On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia
Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (2406)
On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46661) - you deserved it (8542)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States
Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42280) - you deserved it (4726)
On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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