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Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML

#19577517
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16723) - you deserved it (3172)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by leftoutdrunk - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML

#19558757
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16992) - you deserved it (1535)

On 05/01/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML

#19501671
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (1631)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

#19484961
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19528) - you deserved it (1470)

On 04/17/2012 at 4:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML

#20009467
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17037) - you deserved it (2187)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:00pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bought medical gloves to protect my hands from various chemicals at work since I have eczema. I had an allergic reaction to the gloves, and now my eczema is even worse. FML

#19336700
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20535) - you deserved it (2295)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:41am - health - by retyi43 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my neighbors got a motion sensor light that points at my window. It's so sensitive that it goes off every time an insect flies past. FML

#19601111
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17665) - you deserved it (1354)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to ring up our local competitors to get prices for paint. I pretended I'd just bought a house and was doing it up, and I actually got excited about doing up a make-believe house. FML

#19562532
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14854) - you deserved it (3919)

On 05/02/2012 at 7:18am - work - by tillyg15 - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, it's day two of my family's camping trip. Despite the weather, bugs, and portapotties, we were doing okay, until the can opener broke. My husband is stubbornly insisting that we live off cereal and peanut butter for another five days. FML

#19766054
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17573) - you deserved it (2574)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Danielle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML

#19731435
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15846) - you deserved it (5613)

On 06/04/2012 at 6:13am - love - by Ladycakes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally told my roommate, who doesn't pay rent, to go get a job. He left, came back, and immediately went to my refrigerator to eat. I asked him about his job and what his pay is. Apparently, putting together a bike for a kid is a job. FML

#19671365
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14117) - you deserved it (2038)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:41am - money - by hunterjumper1212 - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

#19596510
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15195) - you deserved it (4423)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19am - health - by Slowsky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I photoshopped a picture for my Facebook profile so my stomach would look a little flatter. I came back later, only to find someone had said, "What in God's name is this? Is your belly duck-facing?" and half a dozen other insults. FML

#19658445
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4751) - you deserved it (27127)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Cam (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)



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