Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my tire was a little low on air. I decided to put in a can of Fix-A-Flat and drive home. Since it was 10 degrees outside and snowing, the can became frozen to the valve. When I finally got the can off, I had ruined the valve, so I had to put on the spare tire. It was flat too. FML

#6651992
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (5318)

On 12/07/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my apartment complex added $250 to the $1,000 my roomate and I already owe because of an unauthorized pet and complaints from neighbors that our dog barks all night long. We don't have a dog, we don't even have a pet. FML

#6542379
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (2114)

On 11/30/2009 at 10:22pm - money - by cande (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found my pit bull after three weeks of frantic searching. When we returned home, I put out food and water for him. I went to get him and found him in my room, wagging his tail at me. He had peed on my comforter, freshly folded clothes, and new 60 dollar winter coat. Welcome home, Caine. FML

#6602285
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (5981)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by dogless (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML

#6677293
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25550) - you deserved it (4652)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:13am - work - by okaythen6 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that the shower sponge I've been using for a while now is the very same sponge my friends used to wipe up my vomit when I was drunk. I have been exfoliating a puked on sponge for more than a month. FML

#6629072
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9295) - you deserved it (27961)

On 12/06/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by Delicious (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I finally got my wish of having snow on my birthday. Excited, I failed to realise this meant that no one could come to my party, including myself as we were all snowed out of town. What did I spend my 18th doing? Tidying our house. FML

#6881049
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (3375)

On 12/22/2009 at 7:15am - misc - by JD300 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

#6951563
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20400) - you deserved it (4683)

On 12/26/2009 at 2:22am - intimacy - by boyfriendisatoss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the girl I had a crush on for the past few months called me and wanted to tell me something. Excited, I agreed and we went out to dinner. She wanted to tell me she had been secretly seeing 'someone' for the past six months. FML

#6733753
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23981) - you deserved it (3284)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:36am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I have to work Christmas Day. There's no public transport running and taxis are triple fare. It'll cost me more getting to work than I'll actually earn during the shift. FML

#6917997
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (2086)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:20am - work - by Barstaff (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I finally came home from a semester of college, and all my parents and sister can talk about is how bad my acne has gotten. FML

#6824006
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27635) - you deserved it (2791)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by honutattoo - United States (California)

Today, my mom informed me that my entire family puts their dirty towels on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of the hamper. I've been using their dirty towels after showers for as long as I remember. FML

#7108098
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (5980)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML

#7180420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11502) - you deserved it (26884)

On 01/06/2010 at 11:44am - work - by noluckwhatsoever (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

#8824133
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21331) - you deserved it (8568)

On 03/04/2010 at 2:41pm - misc - by dpod121 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: