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Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML

#15975496
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23759) - you deserved it (4368)

On 04/29/2011 at 7:36am - work - by Kebabjoon (man) - Spain

Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML

#16829540
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you deserved it (3107)

On 06/24/2011 at 3:17am - health - by John (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

#18494919
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30400) - you deserved it (3347)

On 12/12/2011 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

#19528563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25754) - you deserved it (3121)

On 04/25/2012 at 6:43pm - love - by anyoi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

#16030306
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27303) - you deserved it (2458)

On 05/03/2011 at 8:04am - misc - by Mayshod -

Today, the motorway I usually use was closed off due to a major car accident. With no way off the freeway, my trip took three times longer than usual. I lost control of my bladder mid-way. FML

#18175852
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (5185)

On 11/06/2011 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boss and I were preparing a lunch order for a nearby real-estate agency. I noticed that the order was riddled with spelling mistakes, so I laughed and mocked the realtors calling them stupid and incompetent. My boss then pointed out that the order was written in his handwriting. FML

#16340964
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8967) - you deserved it (35688)

On 05/25/2011 at 9:55am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I got pulled by a cop because I forgot to put my registration sticker on. I get nervous around authority and have nervous shakes. I ripped the registration sticker 3 times trying to put it on. The cop then gave me a ticket for "Improper Equipment". FML

#15986452
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (6459)

On 04/30/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by Cody - United States

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

#16476285
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (2964)

On 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm - work - by amf (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you deserved it (2807)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I helped an elderly lady unscrew the cooling tank's cap from her smoking car. My reward? A scalding shower of toxic, pungent antifreeze that erupted moments after removing said cap. She didn't even thank me. FML

#16995369
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (16909)

On 07/06/2011 at 1:27am - misc - by thoughtcrimeno1 - United States (Texas)

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

#19508407
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21577) - you deserved it (2123)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML

#19615076
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23314) - you deserved it (3881)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by deewe (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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