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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML

#12676840
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31064) - you deserved it (4964)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:17am - love - by arace15336 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while parked at school, someone broke into my car by smashing the window. I called the police and they informed me I could drive it to the local station as it was an easy 2 minute drive. As I was driving there, I got pulled over for driving with a smashed window. FML

#14175206
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (2458)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by unfortunatelyunlucky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML

#12542029
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32037) - you deserved it (6110)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:20pm - money - by noespresso (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML

#15566439
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36950) - you deserved it (5858)

On 03/30/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by meohmy - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML

#14950423
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11310) - you deserved it (46409)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by grrrr - United States

Today, just a few minutes after I got to work, my usually laconic boss came into my office and said, "Pack your stuff and get the f*ck out." Apparently, half my department was being downsized. Thinking it was an April Fool's, I burst out laughing and told him how funny the prank was. He wasn't kidding. FML

#15587830
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35030) - you deserved it (4434)

On 04/01/2011 at 10:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as part of the treatment for my bulimia, my doctor informed me that I will not be allowed to go to the bathroom unsupervised. Meaning there will have to be another person in the bathroom with me at all times. I have a nervous bladder. I couldn't go if I wanted to. FML

#17977413
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25553) - you deserved it (13399)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mother-in-law asked if she could move in with us. FML

#18924162
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37829) - you deserved it (2865)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML

#17878442
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21503) - you deserved it (8693)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by soapy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

#19152367
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20731) - you deserved it (2055)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Lovernotafighter (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

#19596510
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (5300)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19am - health - by Slowsky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (1733)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML

#20073639
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (2253)

On 09/15/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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