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Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34900) - you deserved it (3950)
On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34350) - you deserved it (3710)
On 04/11/2013 at 3:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51906) - you deserved it (4036)
On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59741) - you deserved it (6811)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my grandpa moved into the apartment next door. The walls are wafer-thin. Goodbye sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43847) - you deserved it (4722)
On 04/22/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by LesbianHonest (woman) - Canada
Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50688) - you deserved it (4430)
On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I took my Spanish test, and I felt very confident. I got the test back later, and saw my teacher had written on it: "Congrats on the 94%, but I know you cheated." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42475) - you deserved it (6289)
On 04/23/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46069) - you deserved it (5576)
On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States
Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34546) - you deserved it (4416)
On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20124) - you deserved it (38120)
On 04/21/2013 at 2:20am - misc - by Human fly - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40743) - you deserved it (6322)
On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32919) - you deserved it (4556)
On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25255) - you deserved it (55538)
On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia
Monday 20 May 2013
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