Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dog managed to get into our cabinet and eat an entire bag of hershey kisses. Now she is puking all over the house and outside too. When I called the vet to tell her about it, she said that it was normal, and to call her back when it was "coming out the other end." FML

#9018544
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18141) - you deserved it (3292)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:01am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

#12999692
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21542) - you deserved it (3096)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:19am - misc - by ~JESSICA~ - United States

Today, I learned that a few pubes on your bed can stop you from getting laid. FML

#9095139
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6644) - you deserved it (27493)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:00am - intimacy - by PubelishedAuthor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML

#14554421
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24349) - you deserved it (3616)

On 01/12/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was driving back from school 100 miles away from my home with my fiancé and dog. While stopping for gas, we accidentally left our car keys and cell phones in the car. The dog sat on one of the keys and engaged the locks. We were locked out of the car until the tow truck arrived. FML

#14474591
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11622) - you deserved it (18085)

On 01/05/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up at 3am to go to work. This will be my new routine from now on. FML

#14798010
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (8981)

On 02/01/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by yawning - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML

#14459175
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18109) - you deserved it (5433)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:30am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up early to go to church with my parents. When I got in the car, I was struck with the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life. My parents told me I'd be cleaning the car out when we got there, because if we turned around, we'd be late. FML

#14521261
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (2709)

On 01/09/2011 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML

#14932572
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17371) - you deserved it (3627)

On 02/11/2011 at 4:54am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I was t-boned by a car that sent mine flying into five parked cars. My car was totalled. As the person who hit me pulled me out of the right side of the car he said, "Sorry. I sneezed." FML

#9697078
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33029) - you deserved it (2394)

On 04/07/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by A. Person - Mexico (Sonora)

Today, I found out about my old school's class reunion, which I wasn't invited to. Everyone has my number and e-mail address. They just "forgot" to tell me. FML

#19448079
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19743) - you deserved it (2387)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Girl-with-the-glasses (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

#20086643
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (3045)

On 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm - work - by izziegrl - Mexico (Mexico)

Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

#15214579
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10657) - you deserved it (30204)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:18am - work - by Dx - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: