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Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

by Donutsarelife / 11/19/2014 at 10:09am / United States / Geek

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

by Stressed Mother / 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML

by isaidfuckoff / 06/27/2015 at 2:29pm / United States / Love

Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm / United States / Love

Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML

by Noname / 03/02/2009 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend in the hallway of our school, and once we got to his class, I leaned in for a kiss. Surprising me, he leaned away, and I asked what was wrong. He told me he's glad we're going out, but just doesn't want anyone to know. FML

by denied / 03/26/2009 at 7:49pm / United States (Delaware) / Love

Today, I realized that my father's weekly unemployment check is more than my bi-weekly pay check. My full time job pays less than my father's unemployment. FML

by thatsucks / 05/17/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, while at work at Wendy's, a lady came through the drive-thru with her kid. As I was handing them their order, her child points to me and exclaims "mommy, I thought you weren't supposed to work at places like this when you get older". FML

by Frosty / 04/06/2009 at 3:13am / United States (Georgia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes she said with a sigh of relief "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML

by mildver / 04/20/2009 at 12:51am / Costa Rica (San Jose) / Love

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

by trgtyo / 05/18/2009 at 7:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was showing my unique new tattoo to my friends when a man approaches me with his digital camera and asks if he could take a picture of the tattoo for his website. I agreed. I find out later that it's a site about ugly tattoos. FML

by popemichael / 06/19/2009 at 6:48pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was 4 extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML

by MyLyfeSux / 09/25/2009 at 6:09pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an invitation to my "going away lunch" the company is throwing for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

by jobless / 11/10/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work