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Today, I found out the money my husband's been funneling from our bank account wasn't for drugs or gifts for another girl like I thought. It was for a guy he stupidly believed was a foreign diplomat, who supposedly needed to bribe officials in order to send us several million dollars. FML

#20997988
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42575) - you deserved it (4181)

On 12/19/2013 at 12:20pm - money - by you fucking idiot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML

#21129797
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49916) - you deserved it (7771)

On 05/03/2014 at 5:10pm - health - by ughhhh - United States

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

#21149418
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44455) - you deserved it (4459)

On 05/23/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by idontevencareanymore (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized why I never hear my voice echoing when I sing to my boyfriend on Skype; he just mutes me. FML

#21296304
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36084) - you deserved it (11380)

On 11/10/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31241) - you deserved it (3775)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

#21231132
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41484) - you deserved it (3091)

On 08/06/2014 at 6:18pm - kids - by whymyroomthough (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

#21278689
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38213) - you deserved it (2872)

On 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm - health - by BoobiePain - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36581) - you deserved it (5543)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

#21266998
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42950) - you deserved it (5986)

On 09/28/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by jquaw - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

#21377225
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36064) - you deserved it (5701)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm - kids - by Stressed Mother (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28956) - you deserved it (2859)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She went to try some clothes on and came out to ask for my opinion. "Hell no! That shirt is awful!". She wanted to show me the pants. The shirt was hers. FML

#698
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11197) - you deserved it (23472)

On 01/04/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version



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