Choose the period

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, I was taking a final test online that would account for 65% of my final grade. I had worked extremely hard in that class. I had one submission for the test. My roommate thought it would be funny to click the "Submit All" Button while i was getting a glass of water. I got a 13%. FML

by Failure / 11/09/2009 at 5:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was lying in bed minding my own business when my mom entered the room. I was proposed to a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and my mom came in to tell me that my boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML

by violet / 11/29/2009 at 5:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

by babyfatt / 12/16/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I decide to take a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken. Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk and decided to swap it with expired chicken broth. FML

by souped / 12/10/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML

by Spac3Ghost / 12/28/2009 at 12:08pm / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML

by Jason / 08/12/2010 at 4:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I really had to pee so I took the only stall that was available in the bathroom: the handicapped stall. A girl in a wheelchair came in seconds later and cursed at me for taking her designated spot. FML

by Kasnt / 10/03/2010 at 2:50pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my varsity swim team got second place in the State meet. My coach said I could bring the trophy home for the weekend. On the way home, I accidentally sat on it and broke it, cutting my butt. FML

by kat101 / 10/04/2010 at 6:11pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML

by unlovedfatty / 12/15/2010 at 8:01pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 10:18pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, my mom told me that she was selling my favorite thing in the world, my trombone. The only thing that I'm good at is the trombone. FML

by ihavenothing / 02/18/2011 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous