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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML

#20470370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28980) - you deserved it (5140)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm - love - by airrinw_33 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my parents have kept their bet going about not turning the heat on all season. I woke up this morning to it being the same temperature inside as it was outside. It's snowing out there. FML

#20470349
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (1976)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML

#20503854
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26053) - you deserved it (6174)

On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML

#20496887
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28367) - you deserved it (5189)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by BonGoWash - United States (New York)

Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply: "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML

#20512366
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11064) - you deserved it (41010)

On 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (3718)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32396) - you deserved it (11774)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31455) - you deserved it (2482)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML

#20547830
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (3886)

On 03/17/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML

#20557395
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36315) - you deserved it (11746)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. FML

#20554618
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35519) - you deserved it (2648)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by XoxoChula - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36415) - you deserved it (3645)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

#20552149
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41144) - you deserved it (5748)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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