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Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

#20930198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38732) - you deserved it (11503)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56246) - you deserved it (4777)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, I woke up and screamed: My older sister had placed a Furby right by my face while I was asleep. This is a common occurrence. FML

#20964432
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37849) - you deserved it (4491)

On 11/20/2013 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

#20939700
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46718) - you deserved it (5313)

On 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by Rinelric1998 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

#21020870
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35366) - you deserved it (31955)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49373) - you deserved it (9289)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

#21000259
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41302) - you deserved it (4400)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38450) - you deserved it (3044)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51844) - you deserved it (6514)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

#21023843
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49012) - you deserved it (7585)

On 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by lukas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

#21027576
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42458) - you deserved it (4580)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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