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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML

#19037206
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25440) - you deserved it (2062)

On 02/09/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by truth - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

#17945907
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9812) - you deserved it (33401)

On 10/09/2011 at 7:28pm - love - by Slayer - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally received my passport. Too bad my flight to Italy left last week. FML

#19070055
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (7537)

On 02/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by ontherun2012 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, wanting to be on time for my first job interview, I woke up at the crack of dawn and walked almost an hour through a thunderstorm. When I arrived, I was told that the manager wasn't in today, because of the bad weather. FML

#20046195
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25253) - you deserved it (1891)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone sent my boss a CD full of documents for an upcoming trial. It's my job to sort through the evidence, so he gave it to me. I looked on the CD. There's only one file; a 1020-page PDF of all the documents we need, and the pages weren't scanned in order. FML

#20441300
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31988) - you deserved it (2340)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:36pm - work - by fucked five ways to friday (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML

#20769987
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50352) - you deserved it (4487)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:57am - work - by FUCK.THIS.JOB. (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

#20763424
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40351) - you deserved it (4738)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

#20849795
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42395) - you deserved it (3335)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

#20899028
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52027) - you deserved it (3442)

On 09/28/2013 at 11:21am - love - by Christian (man) - United States

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

#20911052
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37188) - you deserved it (16891)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:55pm - health - by Sadness (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46160) - you deserved it (5685)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend is still obsessed with me. Apparently he named his dog after me and talks to her like she's a real person. FML

#21018719
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53947) - you deserved it (6379)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Seriously? -

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43120) - you deserved it (3318)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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