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Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

#6367278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34977) - you deserved it (3006)

On 11/19/2009 at 10:53am - health - by nolips (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML

#6992051
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7920) - you deserved it (24976)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by Spac3Ghost (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

#6774546
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11574) - you deserved it (25876)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by babyfatt - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML

#14357167
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30676) - you deserved it (5691)

On 12/27/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

#14130110
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30155) - you deserved it (3669)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:56am - health - by scratchy (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML

#14537773
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (5461)

On 01/10/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML

#12481000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9134) - you deserved it (42656)

On 08/12/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by Jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML

#14216323
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34820) - you deserved it (4788)

On 12/15/2010 at 8:01pm - misc - by unlovedfatty (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that my dandruff issue was so horrible, that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML

#13610452
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27734) - you deserved it (7616)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:24am - health - by ew - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom told me that she was selling my favorite thing in the world, my trombone. The only thing that I'm good at is the trombone. FML

#15026564
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35932) - you deserved it (5115)

On 02/18/2011 at 9:47am - misc - by ihavenothing - United States (Texas)

Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML

#14526378
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12271) - you deserved it (31239)

On 01/09/2011 at 10:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

#15493729
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28353) - you deserved it (6742)

On 03/26/2011 at 2:32am - misc - by Broderick (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML

#16462261
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34217) - you deserved it (3450)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:40am - work - by Unemployed (man) - United States



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