Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML

#7117686
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6482) - you deserved it (29452)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by halien1982 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines and inadvertantly eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

#8840296
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19552) - you deserved it (2348)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:01am - work - by Petergibbons - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the acne under my arms was worse then the severe acne on my face. FML

#8557720
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (3146)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:43pm - health - by baconrash - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the shower getting ready for a date, when my older sister thought it would be a laugh to turn out the light. Getting out of the shower to turn it back on, I slipped and hit on my head on the counter. Thanks, sis. FML

#8250617
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22039) - you deserved it (2636)

On 02/14/2010 at 2:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

#8230215
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20157) - you deserved it (2881)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:03am - love - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

#8624928
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20877) - you deserved it (18394)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by pickit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had pancakes for breakfast, and without realizing it, I got syrup in my hair. After breakfast, I went to straighten my hair, only to burn the syrup and have it get stuck in my hair. There was no time to shower and it smelled. FML

#8716792
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10031) - you deserved it (19806)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:10pm - misc - by maddy - United States (Washington)

Today, my dorm had a mandatory meeting about body image. I went to the meeting and left feeling all good about myself. As soon as I got back to my room, my favorite jeans ripped right across my butt. FML

#8859688
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18370) - you deserved it (4111)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by shortiem (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I didn't realize until I was home that I'd thrown my retainer away with my tray at Chick-fil-A. FML

#12149322
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12908) - you deserved it (26213)

On 07/27/2010 at 6:15pm - money - by idgit42 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML

#9093072
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22165) - you deserved it (4247)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:51am - money - by Fridaythe12th (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to the pills my doctor prescribed for coughing, which I really need because I ripped a muscle in my stomach. Now my whole upper body is covered in a terrible itchy rash. I also found out it will last for at least another week. FML

#10779349
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24607) - you deserved it (2177)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML

#13256903
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6480) - you deserved it (21423)

On 09/29/2010 at 10:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML

#12860469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22445) - you deserved it (7600)

On 09/01/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by Rollymouth - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: