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Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53502) - you deserved it (13315)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46078) - you deserved it (5119)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42509) - you deserved it (4930)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43510) - you deserved it (4977)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML

#21122879
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32082) - you deserved it (12535)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49669) - you deserved it (9938)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I finally decided to go Christmas shopping. It's only once I arrived that I realized that I had forgotten my wallet. FML

#564
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7467) - you deserved it (19244)

On 12/21/2008 at 10:36am - money - by fleur_de_fevrier - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, my boss told me that we are having a big meeting tomorrow, with lots of important people. Before leaving the room he added "Please, tomorrow, try to dress better." FML

#884
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15382) - you deserved it (5239)

On 01/08/2009 at 10:38pm - work - by Nalya - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the UK for the first time, and had the most amazing time with my girlfriend, catching it all on tape. When I got back to South America, I realized someone had stolen my camera. FML

#892
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18796) - you deserved it (2047)

On 01/09/2009 at 4:02am - misc - by Wex - Chile (Antofagasta)

Today, I have a degree in electrical engineering, my wife was doing a crossword and asked me what are the units of capacitance, I couldn't remember. FML

#967
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13586) - you deserved it (7661)

On 01/11/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by jibjab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell asleep in English and drooled on my test. Evidently everyone noticed. FML

#1218
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5947) - you deserved it (15717)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by Erin - United States (Virginia)

Today, I downloaded the 'Dark was the Night' compilation made for charity. I have no soul. FML

#2527
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4139) - you deserved it (21483)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by Champs - Australia (New South Wales)



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