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Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML

#21430717
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20773) - you deserved it (17569)

On 06/23/2015 at 4:00pm - animals - by ej6901 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was awoken by my son squirting liquid on me from a bottle. We have a high deer population in our area, so I spray urine contained in black bottle on my plants to help deter the deer from eating them. I also water my flowers with water from a blue bottle. My son used the black one. FML

#3200106
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35274) - you deserved it (7763)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by GoldenShower (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a shower after I finished typing an important essay I've been working on for days. My computer illiterate mum shut the computer down when I was gone, without saving a thing. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for "wasting electricity". FML

#3299965
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27232) - you deserved it (59247)

On 06/28/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by lifedamntough (woman) - Singapore

Today, a kid I coach on a regular basis was talking to me about what I did outside of work. After we were done with the conversation, she told me with a straight face that I need to get a life and get a boyfriend. She's 10. And she's right. FML

#593452
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55257) - you deserved it (9619)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by gymnasticscoach (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was looking over some old notes from high school when I came across a list of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I'm 25. I haven't accomplished a single one. I'm 26. FML

#2144492
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42573) - you deserved it (15493)

On 05/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML

#3739737
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51422) - you deserved it (8146)

On 07/14/2009 at 4:55am - animals - by doggone (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cleaning my old neighbor's bathroom, because he asked me to and I didn't want to be rude. Plus, I was getting paid. He told me to "get the floor pearly white." So I scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed. Turns out the floor tiles are naturally a dull yellowish. I didn't get paid. FML

#3781020
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48811) - you deserved it (5526)

On 07/15/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by ughhh123456789 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I wore a beautiful new dress that I got for £5 only in a sale. I've been turning heads in it all day. When I got home, my mum pulled the massive red £5 tag off of the back. FML

#5620277
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13413) - you deserved it (37114)

On 10/03/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Adalia (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML

#6377275
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8978) - you deserved it (41379)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Links (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

#6367278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34045) - you deserved it (2943)

On 11/19/2009 at 10:53am - health - by nolips (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

#14130110
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26857) - you deserved it (3371)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:56am - health - by scratchy (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML

#14537773
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (5342)

On 01/10/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML

#14216323
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33846) - you deserved it (4696)

On 12/15/2010 at 8:01pm - misc - by unlovedfatty (man) - United States (New York)



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