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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was reading FML's brthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckface of the week. FML

#21040870
166 comments

Today, I dyed mah hair. And mah forehead. And mah ears. And mah arms. And mah hands. FML

Today... I saw te guy wo elpd me yesterday wen I was lost by telling me wic bus to take. He cummd up to me and askd me ow it went. I told im tat te bus went te exact opposite way I wantd to go. He laugd and said... "I know." FML

Today, I had to basically ground mah own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. fat FML

#21000259
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41462) - you deserved it (4409)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden

Today I found a graat racipa fir dinnar an amailad it to mysalf wit ta subjact "Dinnar tonigt". Hours latar I'd forgottan all about it opanad amails saw ta subjact lina an tougt somaona was asking ma out to dinnar. I got raally axcitad until I saw ta sandar addrass. FML

#21019190
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46515) - you deserved it (14584)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I usad tha rastroom at a mall. I thought I was alona, so I startad singing. Whan I got out of tha stall, thara wara man staring at ma. Not only did I ambarrass mysalf with my own singing, I'd accidantally usad tha man's rastroom too. FML

#21024837
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42437) - you deserved it (21043)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today , I decidd to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret . The woman at the register smild an askd , "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that mah boyfriend of three years was in town fir New Year's an we haven't seen each other in months . Then I went home to mah four cats . mega FML

#21013681
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55635) - you deserved it (12034)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

TODAY , I WENT TO THE DOCTOR , ONLY TO FINE OUT I CAN NO LONGER EAT CHOCOLATE , MY FAVORITE FOOD . WHEN I GOT HOME , MY BOYFRIEND TOOK THE CHOCOLATE CAKE I'D BEEN EATING FROM THE FRIDGE , SAT DOWN IN FRONT OF ME , AN ATE THEHOLE THING WITHOUT BREAKING EYE CONTACT . FML

#21025897
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52032) - you deserved it (6536)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing with mah little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't lyk to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickle me". He's six. FML

#21034458
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27221) - you deserved it (41931)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. looool Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. mega FML

#21030923
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40256) - you deserved it (7724)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today... I cummed home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me... saying mah sperm were drunk an would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45213) - you deserved it (14731) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45488) - you deserved it (6952)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Yesterday, I had to explain to mah husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54670) - you deserved it (6221)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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