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Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML

#20729234
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44861) - you deserved it (3257)

On 06/16/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

#20895300
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37893) - you deserved it (13418)

On 09/25/2013 at 2:59am - love - by so_screwed - United States (California)

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

#20887758
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40980) - you deserved it (3124)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML

#20924792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45787) - you deserved it (4838)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by nerdywaitress (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML

#20959018
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40685) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/15/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39746) - you deserved it (13285)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my fiancé and I told my future mother-in-law that we are expecting. Her response was, "Why are you doing this to me?" FML

#21078559
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41924) - you deserved it (4560)

On 03/05/2014 at 5:15am - misc - by dyingangel246 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

#21078266
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44103) - you deserved it (7177)

On 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm - misc - by augiedd (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

#21091998
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38331) - you deserved it (5301)

On 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by no (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

#21127290
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36711) - you deserved it (8055)

On 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm - health - by idiotfucks (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43378) - you deserved it (5405)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)



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