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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML

#14608704
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27494) - you deserved it (7243) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML

#14644805
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9266) - you deserved it (22112)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:59pm - work - by OverWorked1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at training with several of my co-workers, I realized I was the only woman. The only thing one of them said to me the entire day was "DUDE!" while staring at my chest as I took my coat off in the morning. FML

#14558883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (3544)

On 01/12/2011 at 9:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

#18336172
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (9505)

On 11/24/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by swirkishly - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words 'stupid bitch' every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML

#14642325
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (2494)

On 01/19/2011 at 7:52pm - work - by sirenmario -

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (3302)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, not long after having had my college volleyball scholarship confirmed, I broke my ankle after stepping on and tripping over a toy my baby sister had left out. No scholarship and no college whatsoever now. FML

Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML

#18615035
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26936) - you deserved it (4365)

On 12/26/2011 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML

#17055167
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31383) - you deserved it (3459)

On 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm - animals - by worstfatherever - United States

Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML

#17494205
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (15258)

On 08/16/2011 at 10:05pm - misc - by otter - United States (Washington)

Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML

#18239107
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (22396)

On 11/13/2011 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I proudly presented my research project in class that I've worked for day and night for 3 weeks straight. My teacher fell asleep. FML

#18067100
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23559) - you deserved it (3088)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML

#18633167
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8889) - you deserved it (26957)

On 12/28/2011 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



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