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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML

#15841509
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12695) - you deserved it (37792)

On 04/18/2011 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, the maintenance man 'fixed' a leak in my apartment by flooding the place. FML

#15744069
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23764) - you deserved it (2350)

On 04/11/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by sproket -

Today, I was trying to listen to a phone message I'd received. I was excited because I'd been waiting for the coaches to call me back for tryouts for a week now. Trying to figure out how to listen to it, I ended up deleting it. FML

#16176311
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14648) - you deserved it (25751)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:17pm - misc - by ihatelife (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I checked over my notes from yesterday's midterm review so I could study for the test on Monday. It seems I was so exhausted, I'd done nothing but scribble unintelligibly all over the first page. FML

#19109454
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18326) - you deserved it (7600)

On 02/18/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

#19528563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/25/2012 at 6:43pm - love - by anyoi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

#17366329
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11093) - you deserved it (47345)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:05pm - misc - by meganridner (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

#19201206
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19311) - you deserved it (3800)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:19am - misc - by Urinal Fresh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, to keep my phone safe while I went on some rides, I took it out of my pocket so I could put it in my bag. Just as I pulled it out, a woman ran into me, knocking my phone to the ground and breaking the screen. FML

#17520336
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25723) - you deserved it (2465)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:59pm - misc - by bandit99999 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

#18772974
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24965) - you deserved it (2046)

On 01/11/2012 at 2:47am - animals - by GrossedOut (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

#18474443
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (3065)

On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I moved into a lovely basement suite. Unfortunately, the 12 year old upstairs plays violin. She also plays baritone. She said she alternates each day. FML

#18278500
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (2859)

On 11/18/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by guest - Canada

Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML

#19952787
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20167) - you deserved it (1870)

On 07/18/2012 at 1:06am - health - by tm - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to give a speech as part of my campaign for school captain. I was rather happy with it and so I told another candidate my speech. Apparently it was a good idea as minutes later that same candidate stole my entire speech, leaving me looking like a complete idiot. FML

#20058690
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9202) - you deserved it (33656)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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