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Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

#19004076
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (2453)

On 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm - animals - by rattrap (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML

#20086342
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (3790)

On 09/24/2012 at 6:48am - work - by NoMoney4Me (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24273) - you deserved it (2126)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML

#19864219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26843) - you deserved it (2969)

On 06/29/2012 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Christina (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML

#19932233
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9849) - you deserved it (25710)

On 07/13/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by HellisLikeTheDMV (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

#20122351
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (1804)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:41am - animals - by Annonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML

#20414233
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28926) - you deserved it (7421)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:19pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

#20595392
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25625) - you deserved it (45772)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, is the day of the biggest concert in the state of Florida, and it's also my birthday. I was so excited to hear my mom got tickets. It was for her boyfriend and her. I'm stuck at home babysitting. FML

#20589773
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56923) - you deserved it (4266)

On 04/14/2013 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

#20696570
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42909) - you deserved it (3623)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML

#20899091
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48745) - you deserved it (4213)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Serbia

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21141) - you deserved it (41471)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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