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Today, I went on a date with the hottest guy I've ever met. He is also rich and successful, and would probably be perfect for me, if only he could stop bragging about it. FML

#7586037
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (13616)

On 01/26/2010 at 6:30am - love - by OTZ - Sent from mobile version

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26403) - you deserved it (5315)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

#13108998
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22765) - you deserved it (13779)

On 09/19/2010 at 2:21am - animals - by jillydark6609 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML

#11377348
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47241) - you deserved it (4201)

On 06/22/2010 at 8:59am - love - by k.love - United States (Utah)

Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML

#13130715
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (3092)

On 09/20/2010 at 6:11pm - misc - by Uriyahu (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my father told me to stop purposely singing out of tune because it was annoying. I wasn't doing it on purpose; it's my real voice. FML

#12920070
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25809) - you deserved it (6417)

On 09/05/2010 at 5:51pm - misc - by noonotme (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML

#14644805
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9622) - you deserved it (22904)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:59pm - work - by OverWorked1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

#14656161
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26571) - you deserved it (3466)

On 01/20/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by Username -

Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML

#16247260
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35794) - you deserved it (3101)

On 05/19/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by John -

Today, not long after having had my college volleyball scholarship confirmed, I broke my ankle after stepping on and tripping over a toy my baby sister had left out. No scholarship and no college whatsoever now. FML

Today, I was feeling super nervous about driving because I had my first accident the day before. As I stopped at a red light, I got rear-ended. FML

#18470751
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (2483)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML

#17494205
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23996) - you deserved it (15640)

On 08/16/2011 at 10:05pm - misc - by otter - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML

#17866876
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12193) - you deserved it (26883)

On 09/29/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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