Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML

#13130715
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29509) - you deserved it (3019)

On 09/20/2010 at 6:11pm - misc - by Uriyahu (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

#14484752
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27045) - you deserved it (2444)

On 01/06/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML

#16262012
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9801) - you deserved it (26111)

On 05/20/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by Ahlph -

Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML

#15403907
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (14845)

On 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by AwkwardWaitress (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML

#16247260
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34893) - you deserved it (3032)

On 05/19/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by John -

Today, I was feeling super nervous about driving because I had my first accident the day before. As I stopped at a red light, I got rear-ended. FML

#18470751
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (2414)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML

#17866876
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10937) - you deserved it (24898)

On 09/29/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

#19004076
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24585) - you deserved it (2292)

On 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm - animals - by rattrap (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went for a job interview. Before giving me a tour, the manager pointed to my purse and said, "Better leave that in my office." I didn't know why it was safer in her office than on my shoulder, but I complied. Later, I went to buy coffee and discovered that all my cash was missing. FML

#20086342
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you deserved it (3495)

On 09/24/2012 at 6:48am - work - by NoMoney4Me (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23376) - you deserved it (2057)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML

#19864219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25278) - you deserved it (2821)

On 06/29/2012 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Christina (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML

#19932233
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9477) - you deserved it (24753)

On 07/13/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by HellisLikeTheDMV (woman) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: