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Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She is eight. FML

#20923587
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39565) - you deserved it (27999)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

#20942179
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26953) - you deserved it (45865)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:27am - love - by LockedOut (man) - United States

Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML

#20972839
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55062) - you deserved it (5992)

On 11/27/2013 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by unluckylassy - Ireland

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41501) - you deserved it (4049)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

#21070645
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38022) - you deserved it (7054)

On 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm - kids - by sonwhy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

Today, I confronted my girlfriend over how she and a male friend have been going out together, drinking and partying, and at one point holding hands in the street. She angrily accused ME of cheating, because "confronting people like that" is apparently something only cheaters themselves do. FML

#21173408
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49459) - you deserved it (4884)

On 06/13/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

#21221083
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47895) - you deserved it (4854)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51861) - you deserved it (4117)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32586) - you deserved it (8027)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32354) - you deserved it (6328)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

Today, I was mugged on my way to the bus stop. With no money or mobile I started to panic about the exam I had and ran the 3.5 miles to get to there. When I staggered up to the building only 20mins after the exam started, the university staff wouldn't let me sit it as I couldn't prove my identity. FML

#3022587
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57940) - you deserved it (2850)

On 06/19/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by verrine - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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