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Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

#6461044
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7882) - you deserved it (27492)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by Cup_of___ - United States (Virginia)

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of 2 years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#6908981
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22914) - you deserved it (3940)

On 12/23/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by everybodysfool (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML

#6839284
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25133) - you deserved it (4143)

On 12/20/2009 at 12:13am - money - by Fml37 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I looked outside and I saw that my new car had been snowed on. Sadly the snow had frozen onto the car, so I spent the entire day getting it off. I came inside. By 8pm, my car had snow all over it again, and this time I left the window open. FML

#7016901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8106) - you deserved it (34550)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by FMLimsomad (man) - United States

Today, I woke up and realized I have experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I am a 24 year old male who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

#7025515
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17095) - you deserved it (2763)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally came home from a semester of college, and all my parents and sister can talk about is how bad my acne has gotten. FML

#6824006
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27655) - you deserved it (2792)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by honutattoo - United States (California)

Today, I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I put my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML

#7386415
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12129) - you deserved it (25643)

On 01/16/2010 at 9:35pm - misc - by VeeDubDisaster (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

#7360407
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7220) - you deserved it (35249)

On 01/15/2010 at 4:27pm - misc - by stephiexbabexx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21837) - you deserved it (5498)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19274) - you deserved it (7443)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, ignoring the unspoken rule of not entering the bus when the driver's not inside, I went in while he was taking a break. As I stepped inside, he reached in the window and pressed the "close-door" button. It closed on my hand. Everyone at the bus stop laughed as I yelped in pain. FML

#7253458
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7354) - you deserved it (26861)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by regrub (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after my first flight landed late, I burned out my lungs sprinting full speed for 10 minutes to catch my next flight. The gate number on my ticket was wrong. It had been changed to one right next to where I had originally pulled up to. FML

#8501700
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27110) - you deserved it (3439)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by mad flyer - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was fired. Why? Because I called in sick on my daughter's birthday, even though you cannot "abandon work for personal affairs". My boss's favorite employee got to skip work on his wife's birthday two weeks ago. He still works here. FML

#8219030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20963) - you deserved it (6130)

On 02/13/2010 at 7:29pm - work - by firedofbirthday - Sent from mobile version



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