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Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML

#20134119
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17206) - you deserved it (3989)

On 10/26/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML

#20157115
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13456) - you deserved it (27497)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

#20481856
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25588) - you deserved it (2009)

On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

#20655778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43578) - you deserved it (5504)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

#20914908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40914) - you deserved it (3115)

On 10/10/2013 at 7:27am - misc - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

#20942179
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (43048)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:27am - love - by LockedOut (man) - United States

Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML

#20972839
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54100) - you deserved it (5888)

On 11/27/2013 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by unluckylassy - Ireland

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39826) - you deserved it (3891)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

Today, I confronted my girlfriend over how she and a male friend have been going out together, drinking and partying, and at one point holding hands in the street. She angrily accused ME of cheating, because "confronting people like that" is apparently something only cheaters themselves do. FML

#21173408
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47051) - you deserved it (4676)

On 06/13/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

#21221083
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47136) - you deserved it (4789)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (7891)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML



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