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Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46242) - you deserved it (5970)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44688) - you deserved it (3736)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50025) - you deserved it (9982)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44712) - you deserved it (4628)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35193) - you deserved it (3338)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41516) - you deserved it (4360)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45009) - you deserved it (5869)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

#21293465
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (6478)

On 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm - love - by notsofriendly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34563) - you deserved it (2339)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36364) - you deserved it (3464)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35447) - you deserved it (2287)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML



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