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Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37864) - you deserved it (10064)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43482) - you deserved it (6311)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45078) - you deserved it (5119)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37797) - you deserved it (3453)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

#21024837
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42317) - you deserved it (20986)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56792) - you deserved it (13939)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49210) - you deserved it (4797)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26787) - you deserved it (41273)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

#21055090
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53607) - you deserved it (6989)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43777) - you deserved it (6733)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36143) - you deserved it (6274)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45950) - you deserved it (5951)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39363) - you deserved it (6964)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)



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