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Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML

#6584948
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37606) - you deserved it (2368)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by SatelliteUser (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

#6733477
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (6429)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML

#7414991
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25597) - you deserved it (6031)

On 01/18/2010 at 4:00am - misc - by Radioo (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML

#12534816
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12834) - you deserved it (30567)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:42am - misc - by Lifeless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML

#19477089
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19553) - you deserved it (4617)

On 04/16/2012 at 2:53am - misc - by hdgyfjdzdfg (woman) - United States

Today, I was invited by my boyfriend's parents for dinner at their house. The dinner went well I thought, until I was getting ready to leave. Before I could make it out the front door, I could hear them discussing their disappointment that their son would ever consider someone like me. FML

#8920959
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (2344)

On 03/08/2010 at 3:27pm - love - by justpeachy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a call while at the dispatch station for the Naval hospital I work at. It was a woman having a panic attack. Apparently, she couldn't plug her vacuum in, and was more or less freaking out. I had to take her in anyway. FML

#12162115
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23558) - you deserved it (2766)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:42am - work - by HM (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

#15229929
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28240) - you deserved it (5994)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm - health - by Less (woman) - Reserved

Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML

#16486194
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (7021)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

#17874555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (4741)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

#18388917
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6558) - you deserved it (68626)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

#20150050
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18324) - you deserved it (1903)

On 11/06/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by Unappreciated Grandchild - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

#20066193
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16402) - you deserved it (10547)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore



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