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Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55766) - you deserved it (6337)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

#21055090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55123) - you deserved it (7180)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70528) - you deserved it (6815)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48748) - you deserved it (6291)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44690) - you deserved it (3736)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50029) - you deserved it (9982)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52811) - you deserved it (5183)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44716) - you deserved it (4628)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

#21234388
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35193) - you deserved it (3339)

On 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by weirded out (man) - United States (California)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41519) - you deserved it (4361)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)



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