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Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73530) - you deserved it (6547)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44480) - you deserved it (10927)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45308) - you deserved it (13421)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56018) - you deserved it (3976)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30009) - you deserved it (54205)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML

#20692497
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55678) - you deserved it (5691)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML

#20666447
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66169) - you deserved it (3635)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46186) - you deserved it (2722)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19014) - you deserved it (107196)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

#20718168
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74335) - you deserved it (3695)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by Upset (woman) - United States

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

#20717566
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34319) - you deserved it (50414)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

#20709553
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53020) - you deserved it (10654)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Senegal

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

#20730822
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48947) - you deserved it (10193)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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