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Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML

#21233475
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47103) - you deserved it (6468)

On 08/09/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by jakethemuss - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

#21306857
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36467) - you deserved it (3571)

On 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (4003)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

#21336365
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37781) - you deserved it (3300)

On 01/13/2015 at 11:25am - love - by can't win - Australia

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML

#21334989
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36515) - you deserved it (2834)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:03am - kids - by StabStab (man) - Belgium

Today, my fiancé and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML

#21362501
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44043) - you deserved it (2834)

On 02/24/2015 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, it was my birthday. Normally, the little office I work in throws a big party for every employee on their special day, but nothing was done for me, not even a "Happy Birthday" came my way. I didn't want to be rude, so I stayed silent. They didn't do anything because I was getting laid off. FML

#3298219
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63715) - you deserved it (2982)

On 06/28/2009 at 4:25am - work - by WitchQueenLiz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, the prizes were given to the employee of the month. They come in to surprise the winner and give prizes. They come over to my cubicle and cover me with silly string. Jokingly, I said: "Do you guys have the wrong cubicle? " They did. The guy in the next cubicle won. FML

#1497553
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53694) - you deserved it (6524)

On 04/30/2009 at 5:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

#4131905
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49173) - you deserved it (4085)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML

#4193534
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45386) - you deserved it (3456)

On 07/31/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by passedoutpolly (woman) - United States (Florida)



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